Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Saturday, 4 February 2012

I am always in slow motion in the morning, it takes forever to do meds and wash and sort things out.

Eventually I headed for the railway station, a minute's walk from the B&B. It is a day for a special day out. I have never mentioned it but I am an hour or less from some of my childhood homes, there is a city in the nxt county and my family orbited this city in our travels round the villages in that county.
Today I am going to visit the city and maybe even get the bus and visit a childhood village or two.

There are light flurries of snow and the temperature is freezing.

I get the train and have a peaceful journey. The railway runs past one of the old villages, but at a distance, I remember how I used to stand at the attic window and glimpse trains far away on the railway, I look and look to see the house and village, but they are too far away.

The train arrives in the town, it is cold and I am hungry. I look at the buses, there are bus services running to all the villages we lived in.
I go to look for somewhere get lunch as time is pushing on. My blood sugar is a bit high considering that I have only had a cup of tea with one sugar since breakfast.

Eventually I find a cheap and cheerful cafe, I get a jacket potato and two cups of tea.

I mooch about and go into a church to pray and light candles, I said 'see you tomorrow God' as I left, and someone coming in looked a tad startled and I am sure Jesus cracked up laughing.

I decide not to visit my old homes this time, it is cold and I am still not feeling very healthy, so I head 'home'.
A peaceful journey.

I go to the library and check emails. Because I was offered the psychological assessment privately I decided to see what I could do about my walking the same way. I have an email offering me appointment times on Monday. I accept, it will cost, but I cannot go on in this pain and crippled, I can't walk a mile, my trip today has been limited by my walking, and the pain is so bad sometimes, so bad.

Anyway, then I get on a very crowded bus to my friend's house, we have supper and head for the quiz.
The quiz is one of the most diffcult I have done, my brain is fuzzy and the quiz goes on from 7.30 to 11pm. Or table wins the wooden spoon - packets of wine gums, I end up with three packs. There was plenty to eat at the quiz and so no point checking my glucose levels tonight :) high as a kite.

The quiz was fun, I wonder what would happen if the diocese saw me being a participating member of society again, they would rip me apart again and take my friends again, and I would move on.
I was useless in the quiz and wanted to go off and hibernate, but I was not too distressed by the packed room and huma contact, just uncomfortable.
I am diagnosed as having social phobia, and I do, but I also love taking part.

We came out of the hall and thick snow was falling and lying on the ground. I was too tired to play in the sno, but you bet I will tomorrow! :):):)

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