This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Tuesday, 19 December 2017


Good aftynoon peeps,

I forgot to update, which means I will forget to tell you things, but I can't remember what.

It is Christmassy here. I am watching Deck the Halls, you know I said I didn't like it, but it has become addictive, I am very like Mr Finch. Don't you dare say I am like Buddy. I did put my Christmas cards up now, as well as all the tinsel and stuff.

I have Christmas music on also, Deck the Halls is a good background film. Yesterday I found back to the future on netflix, and watched all three, they are so familiar that they are also background films. Back to the Future was one of the first films I ever saw, when I was 8 years old and briefly at school, the teachers were all off sick with flu and they just sat all of us in a room and left us watching Back to the Future, which was cool, it felt good to stop struggling and enjoy films.

So yesterday I had all the back to the future films on as I did chores. Cleaned the place and did loads of admin. I also did some good hard work in the care home gardens in the cold.

Last night I decided to go out and get out of the house and get some meat, the welfare doesn't do meat, and I miss having meat when I have so little money, so I decided to see what was reduced. The roads were foggy and I nearly missed a junction, tut. I did Max's tyre pressures while I was out, cold and dark isn't the ideal time to be playing with hub caps at the garage but I kept putting it off, and especially in the winter, you need to make sure your tyres are OK.

I came home and was so tired, I slept 12 hours pretty solid, dreamed I was a child at Christmas, happy and with other happy children, no stress and squabbles like there were when I was a child.

I got up sleepy and with flashbacks about church and police, and pulled myself back into life and daily routines.

Got chores done but my garden today is postponed to Thursday, so I have no other work until then, and then I have delivery driving Saturday and Sunday night.
When my boss asked me to work Christmas eve, he thought I was doubtful because I asked about finish times, but when I explained about Midnight Mass and how those idiots I had been working for the other year wouldn't let me go for midnight mass, he shook hands with me and said 'A Christian! I am a Muslim! We people of a Faith must stick together!' And I won't be working too late, I will get to Midnight Mass.

So I will be working Christmas Eve, it's a tricky one as I will need petrol and packed food as everywhere will be closed, McDs won't even be open for hot drinks as far as I know. An adventure, and as you know, the roads are dangerous on Christmas and New Years' Eves, and I am working both.
Those will be busy shifts too, I know from experience.

Anyway, so this morning I finally went out to do other errands, cards, bank, post office, and I even managed to get a hair appointment for Thursday, which is cool, my hair is madly thick and long right now, it needs a thin and a prune back to shoulder length.

I got a Christmas baguette for lunch, and sat in my car by the sea and ate that in peace.
The great hill loomed massive and black in the silver and yellow winter light, the sea was calm with breaking surf on the shore.

I was going to hurry home and get on with tasks but I changed my mind, I realized that this would be a good time to go to the Christmas Tree Festival. This has been part of my Christmas for the years since I stopped sleeping rough, and I was afraid I would miss out this year.
But I realized that although I don't like the route from the bay to the festival and it is a bit of a trek, this would be ideal.

I drove through the beautiful winter light and the brown, skeletal and sleeping countryside, out to my fave part of the district, the hills were blue with cold, and the snow clouds hovered over them, while on the cliffs the sun shone and the sea was shimmering silver.

I went in and got my mug of tea, they know me even though they only see me a few times year. The trees had already been judged but I do my own judging. I like coloured lights, creative decorations and tinsel. I awarded local crafts first prize, with young carers second and a local care home third.  But they were all stunning. Sorry no pictures for you this year.

I came home thought the beautiful winter countryside and got some tea, and then went to do the farm. The animals led me a dance round the mud, but they all agreed to be good eventually, otherwise no corn.

Now I am just relaxing slightly with Deck the Halls, and waiting to go out carol singing, what a bad time to get a sore throat, I will go anyway, it isn't too bad.

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