This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Tuesday, 16 February 2016


Good morning peeps,

Well my mood has been as black as midnight in hell and it still is, but never mind. I am still waiting for a delivery of 5HTP, which does work while not making me sick like chemicals from the doctor would.

Yesterday I went to the gym and did a good workout, my number of reps on the lateral pulldown surprised my instructor friend, but to me it is easy. My gym routine is still easy, I hardly break a sweat. On treadmill instead of doing fartlek training I was doing incline, like level 31 :) I like that.

Anyway, I was struggling with my assignment, so I got an extension and went out to do some distribution work. I was working on the bay and a lot of people were out enjoying the half term sunshine, and the tide was wavy and fluffy.

Then I came home to a hot shower before going out on the evening delivery shift.

I had a horrible shift but busy and thus I got paid more.
And they want me to work every evening until Thursday :( I hate working for them and I hate being out working in the evening but at least I will get paid, and the pay helps.

I slept well anyway. Woke this morning early enough to de-ice the car and trot it to the petrol station before going to do three rounds!
As well as extra shifts at stupidville, I have two extra rounds this week. I think half term should be banned because it means I am working until late every evening and then getting up super early to do lots of rounds.
Well I am grateful for the money but argh! Especially when depression is making even getting up and living difficult.

Anyway, a lovely clear and sunny day, I have just watched Hollyoaks and I am going out to do some distribution work soon.

My mate must be telepathic, he sent me a very simple email yesterday that just said 'Are you coping?'
To which the answer was 'well, yes, I am coping, no I'm not'.
He wants to take me out to lunch, which is kind but I am busy and he lives 8 miles away.
Although I could do with heading that way to the Samaritans at some point as well.

I guess I had better do an act of charity for this pritstick in the diocese of winchester who logs onto my blogs every day demanding the Jane Fisher post while I fall about laughing. Ere you go:

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