Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Saturday, 13 February 2016

Saturday

Good evening peeps,

Well last night I woke in the middle of the night very tense, I had been grinding my teeth real bad, so I took some painkillers and put a bite guard in, and managed to keep the bite guard in until morning.

I dreamed that my sister had committed suicide in St. Leonards in Dorset, but when I got there she was alive as well as dead and she had put her arm through a glass door and there was glass everywhere.
Then I dreamed about my deceased friend and she wanted us to go metal detecting and digging in a field but in the dream I felt awful.
Well, no wonder, you know how dreams really resound things? My friend is dead, no metal detector will bring that precious treasure of friendship back, and when people are laid to rest, you can't bring them back, the mind can be sickening and horrible when it tries to reconnect things in dreams.

Anyway, that kind of set my mood for today.
I got up and did the papers, the weather was wet but not windy.
I got paid plus extra for the extra rounds.

I came home and had breakfast and went to the gym, had a good workout and came home.
Then it has been another day of struggling to do anything, I ran out of 5HTP while I was out of money, and my mood is low without it.
I have some on order though.

I spent too much time reading Duma Key today, an old favourite, but I have an assignment due in and it is a big assignment and I feel rubbish because the computer wiped out the draft I had done.

Bugsy Malone was on again earlier.

I have done some shopping today, including bulbs for the lamps, did I tell you I turned the lamp on in my sleep again recently, and the bulb blew?
I have no idea why I have been doing that, it is really wierd.
I haven't done much strange stuff in my sleep since Jersey, apart from an episode when I was a rough sleeper when the diocese launched their attack and sustained it.

This evening when the cortizole levels changed, I felt motivated to clean the flat, so at least that is all done.
I have only three tasks tomorrow, even if it puts my work back a bit - assignment, paperwork, and recording. No gym or exercise or work. My exercise chart reads 665 minutes of exercise this week, and my blood pressure has spiked today for no reason, my weight is really good and nothing else needs doing.
So, Hollyoaks and stay in bed studying tomorrow after the papers.

We were supposed to be having an evening out this evening but the bad weather cancelled it as it was outdoors.

I think I will sit in bed and read Duma Key until bed time now.


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