This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Monday, 16 September 2013

Hey peeps,

I know it was utterly the wrong time to vanish on you, when you know things have been difficult recently and that I was going to the hospital for screening, but don’t worry, it is simply that I have not been able to access the internet.
The hospital visit took most of Saturday, and then because my money didn’t come through on Thursday, I have not been able to get to the café on Saturday or Sunday to access the internet there.

Right. Let me catch up with you from Friday evening onwards.

The weather was foul on Friday evening, wet and windy, I sheltered in church as the choir practiced, and then it was back out into the wet and windy night.

Interestingly it was fairly quiet for a weekend night, and I walked in the rain and eventually went to the porch and tucked down and hoped for the best as the rain blew in on the wind.
I slept almost as soon as I lay down.
I woke again at 12.20am, the night was dark and quiet apart from flurries of wind and rain and a drunk person roaring to themselves at a distance.

I got up, I was a bit wet and cold from the rain that had got me before I bedded down, so I removed my wet top and bandana from under my coat, which was quite warm and dry, and I put on my spare top and my shawl and rearranged the bedding and bedded down again.
I slept warm and comfortable and woke in the morning, not as early as I would have liked as I had the long journey to London to make.

I got up, the rain had stopped but the air was damp and the sky was grey, I got the kettle going and had tea and a wash, my hair was wild from being wet in the night so I had to wash it despite being short of time, as I couldn’t go to London with such mad hair.

I set off sleepily after my wash and tea, and was a bit late for the trains I wanted and so was cutting it slightly fine but not too much.

I had a peaceful journey down to London, and no problem on the underground, I was quite pleased, I coped quite well with the crowds, if I say so myself.

I got to the hospital, no problem, checked in no problem, had a bit of a wait, and had an ECG, done by a very nice kind woman.

The ECG was not too bad, it was not mad and all over the place like the one where I was rushed to hospital, it apparently had ‘a few blips but nothing to really worry about’.  nortypeople have norty hearts.
I had a chat with a doctor and talked to him about the exercise related problems and the arhythmia and my family’s history of heart problems.

Then I was given an hour to pop off and terrorize the district while I waited for further scannings.

I had not much of the money my friend gave me for food left, so I was happy that I found a shop that had some reduced price food and I got some food and a can of soda, and had a walk as I ate.

I went back and had a cuppa with the last of the money and then went to endure the next lot of torture.

Ouch, barbaric things these scans.
I think the lady said it was because I am asthmatic and she had to get my lung to move out of the way of my heart so she could scan my heart, but it really hurt, that one was an ordeal It has been hurting ever since, I thought these tests were supposed to be painless?

I survived, and again, it was nothing to worry about, basically it all just needs a slight  eye kept on it because of the problems and the hereditary thing. I will await my GP pestering me about it, and maybe an exercise stress test as it is during exercise that I do the fainting and vomiting routine
No worries, all ok, peeps, I will never be a great athlete, but being a norty person is just as good.

I was very tired, so when my friend sent me a text asking if I was staying to terrorize London, I told her I was too tired and would simply head home.
And I did.

I had no money for the café when I got home, and I was very tired, so I rested and brewed tea, and ate a cheese and onion roll, which was all I had left, and then it was bed time, and it was a rare dry, night, so I tucked down out in the open, slept for a few hours and woke feeling cold and needing the loo, I rearranged the bedding and slept again but was not deeply asleep, the temperature is dropping towards winter and I need to make my blanket pile into a winter blanket pile.
I would have got a new blanket and a jumper if the money had come through on Thursday.

Anyway, I woke bright and early on Sunday morning, it was cold and cloudy, I put the stove on and had my wash and tea, it is always a thorough wash on a Sunday, and I walked down to the cold loos to finish the bits of wash that I cannot do outdoors in case some unsuspecting person comes across me washing and gets a fright.

Anyway, after my wash I stopped in at a church that isn’t my one, it is my spare church, they were having a roast lunch today and I went in to see if there was space for me and if so what time I should turn up.
They were delighted to see me as they were in difficulties setting up for the lunch and needed an extra pair of hands to get it all set up before their morning service, so I was roped in, because they know I help with things.
So there I was, busily setting up, and then I trotted off back to my church and saw all my beloved church people and worshipped with them.

I can now cope with being in the main church for some of the service instead of staying out in the lobby and listening through the speakers.

It was lovely to see all my church peeps, and when I went in before the service, the priest’s wife was there early and she asked me if I wanted a bowl of porridge, of course I did!

So I had porridge, and my gardening pals came and told me the good news that we had won an award for the garden. I didn’t think we had, because it has been such a struggle to look after it this year.

So all was well there, and the priest said he would bring me a blanket and a jumper later, because I said I was waiting for my money to come through so I could get a blanket and a jumper as it was getting cold at night. And the priest let me get a carton of long life milk from the charity box, so I could brew tea on my stove during the rest of the day.

Then I trotted back to the other church for lunch.
I have only been to lunch at the other church once, and I had forgotten that it is a real three-course dinner, soup or melon starters with bread and butter, I had soup, full roast dinner, seconds, a selection of puddings, and then tea and coffee.
 That was a good dinner. Should have those every day.

But after dinner there was nowhere to go and nowhere to shelter from the increasingly bad weather.
I pretty much spent the whole afternoon sitting on the more sheltered bench, reading my book, but I was not out of the wind-blown rain really, I was wearing my big waterproof coat and my shawl but I was kind of cold and wet, I read my book and sometimes brewed tea on the stove but there was very little relief from the weather, and nowhere else to go, I could throttle whoever made the mistake with my benefits that left me with no money to go  to the café or on public transport to get out of the weather.

At 7.20pm the priest turned up with his hat on. He unlocked the church and told me to come in out of the weather, he had brought me a wool blanket and a jumper. He told me that the weather would get better during the night but that I could shelter in the church until 10.30pm. He had brought me soup and sandwiches for my supper.

He left me in the church with use of the kitchen and toilets and small meeting room to sit in.

So I brewed tea and sorted my posessions out, washed some smalls and washed myself, then I sat there to write some of this.
By 10.30 when he came to lock up, I was dry, clean and fed, and feeling a lot better.
Before the priest left, he also gave me some useful advice that I had never thought of, about how to make sheltering in the porch a bit safer.

The weather had calmed down and the sky was clearing, I tried out what the priest had suggested about the porch, and he was right, I tucked down and slept.

I slept and woke at 20 past midnight again, and then slept again.
Only sleeping lightly in the last few hours to morning.

I was not really relaxed and comfy as I sometimes am when I wake from a good night’s sleep, but I was ok, I got up and stashed the bedding, drank mouthwash and brushed my hair, and walked to town. My money was in, and I came here to the café and thankfully started catching up on everything I had missed out on over the weekend.

One of the biggest handicaps to being online has been not being able to check the weather forecast, so I have not been able to prepare myself for the weather. Which is not good when approaching Winter means either cold clear nights or wet windy nights.

I am relieved that my money is in, and that the hospital visit went ok and that we are moving forward with solutions to things. I am also relieved that the church of England have left off tormenting me, but we can expect them to relaunch their attack on October 11th or thereabouts.

I just went to the church, I was supposed to be chatting with the priest this morning but once he had done me some porridge and tea, he got caught up in a church group and so he was busy, I wandered off to see if my friend was at the coffee morning for some tea and a natter, but she wasn't there and it was crowded so I wandered here instead.

I am glad that my money is through and that that stressful weekend is over.

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