Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Monday, 17 September 2012

I went to see my psychology man.
He was very helpful as usual,
it is only early stages yet but he says he will refer me to the NHS trauma unit, he will teach me some techinques for lowering my distress levels, and he will look at referring me for some of the sports and social courses for people with difficulties. So that is all good news. Progress.
It is hard to progress when you have a noose round your neck that chokes you no matter what you do.
But while I am alive it is instinct to keep trying.

In answer to someone's question why I have to come back to this city when I don't sleep so well here, all of the description above is the reason. I need that help and I have not been able to access it elsewhere despite nearly killing myself trying.

With regards to the college for the disabled, I am going to see if they will admit me in January if it is going to be possible for me to go, that will allow time to overcome obstacles and start to overcome my phobia of indoors. I may go for a residential assessment there sooner if they are willing to admit me, this will allow them to assess my disabilities and see what support I will need.

Anyway, I just had a cuppa in the noisy cafe, which was a mistake, too stressful.

Earlier I had a cuppa at the church and a chat to the nice verger, he calls me 'princess', but no-one could be further from being a princess than me. :)



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