Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Saturday, 15 September 2012

Good morning bloggypeeps.

Yesterday I stayed in the library and got some writing done etc.
The library closes early on a Friday, so I went to the railways station, I have a train addiction, a railway addiction and occasionally I need a fix.
So I had a short chug along the line to a nearby town, and decided that that town is ready for demolition, and so I came back.

As soon as I got back it was time for the soup run, the Friday soup run is the best one of the week, usually there are a lot of nice pastoral people and good food and chocolate and toiletries.
And yeah, it was ok today but not outstanding, I drank lots of tea and then wandered off after being prayed for because I am still not well, and the painkillers are making me a bit woozy and out of it.

I got my bags and went up to my drain, I went part way by tram and was fascinated to find that I can play my little computer game better than ever while I am in a painkiller trance, I set a new high score!
It is a cold night, fairly clear with fluffy clouds rushing about.

I realised I had forgotten my thermal vest and skull cap. but I think that if I get too cold I will put on a spare jumper from my 'pillow'.
I find a sheet of polystyrene which will just about help to keep my back and head warmer.

I take a painkiller and bed down in my sleeping bag, jumpers as a pillow, polystyrene as a part mattress, and the duvet over me, the problem with the duvet is that it is white, and normally I am hidden in the shadows of the drain but now with a white duvet I am not so well hidden, I will have to get a duvet cover :)

I sleep, until 3am, and as usual this mystery wakening puzzles me, I get up and make a bit of a hash up of going to the toilet and then I lie down again, the voices nearby are those of the Jamaicans over the road, they never bother me, they don't jump the wall, well one of them did once but he simply apologized when he realised he had disturbed me.

It is cold but I am warm enough, I doze off eventually, and dream sadly of my family, my sister, it is funny how she is often in my dreams, a year older than me, she resented me and made life miserable for me for coming along when she was still a baby herself and taking all the attention, she and I were forced to share a room always and so despite never being close as sisters, we were physically always close in the same room, and so she often haunts my sleep.

I wake with the alarm and doze again, it is Saturday and the sky is blue with fluffy cloud, the cockerel is crowing and the air is crisp and cold, it is actually 6.40 before I move out, which is late for me but I can get away with it on Saturdays, and I go down to the graveyard to pee because there are immigrants sleeping nearby and I need privacy.

I get on a nice clangy tram and ride down to the other side of town to drop my bedding off in a locker.
I am very fond of the trams, they are my noisy giant pet caterpillars and I love watching them zoom down the hill as if they are about to be overtaken by their tails and I always thing they huff crossly at me when I scoot accross the tram lines. I rarely get trams, but because I am not as energetic as usual it helps me.

I go to the lockers and sort my things out and take my medicines as I sort. I sort out a day bag with snacks and toiletries and my computer equipment.

7.40am, wow, time is flying, off I go to McD's for breakfast, a bagel with philadelphia light and a cup of tea, I sit and try to use my netbook, but the cable is truly knackered now, I manage to get the netbook to work for long enough to transfer my writing to a USB stick so I can continue the writing in the library or daycentre on the computers there.

Then I stand on the steps and nosily watch the world, the world nervously watches me back, including a random man with a Bible who is walking along the gate and a new homeless man who is wearing sandals! homeless people do not wear sandals, I must send him a penalty ticket.

8.15am, I go to poundland to get deodorant and mouthwash.
A man comes past, schitzophrenia or drug use, he is angrily saying 'what is the point of good teeth if you have a lobotomy?' he reminds me of my pal 'Natter' when he was complaining that there is too much mustard in the world, I am not laughing at these people but the things they say can be startlingly funny.

Time wanders by and I wait for the library to open, when it does I have my wash in the toilets, change my socks and underwear and feel so much better for that.

The library is my office, it is where I live a lot of the time, it's a pity that my office couldn't be more private though, the whole world lives in the library, particulalry ex-cons and people with drink and drug problems, because everyone is allowed in the library, it is one of few places that released sex offenders can hang out as well, so it can be a bit uncomfortable sometimes, especially when people incorrectly try to tell me that my computer is booked to them, and they stand over me when I am working, the computer system is foolproof and a computer cannot be booked to two people at once.

Anyway, enough of the whingeing, what do I do in the library anyway, well I have this book to write, so I do that, I can do letters and emails, I go on facebook, I go on the prayer forum, I can study online or apply for courses online, etc etc. And every so often i can get a drink from the vending machine, only 40p.

The daycentre is closed at the weekend but there is three hours of outreach on weekend evenings, this is presumably to keep us lot out of the pubs and clubs, but actually it means I rarely get to church on a Sunday evening, but the three hours means I will get a shower this evening and some supper, and I like the evening outreach, I can read and drink tea there.

By the way, I am not addicted to painkillers, I use a low dose as necessary and I hope to be off them again within the next few days.

Speak to you later bloggypeeps.





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