Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Friday, 29 August 2014

Friday Morning

Good morning,

I was very sick through the night again.

More and more the only way out is to return to the only peace and comfort I ever knew, the streets.

I know out there, after a week or so of settling down, I would sleep peaceful and wake without pain or sickness, wouldn't it be awesome?
This flat and the life I built here as the Church of England have continued to harm me, has been a pipe dream and has left me vulnerable to them and their attacks, slanders of me in my community, police beatings etc etc, and I do not feel safe here, the fact I have lost my ESA contributes to the reality that I cannot stay, well I cannot afford the rent and food, and even without rent to pay, I wont be able to afford food.

Out on the streets I eat from bins and am free from the murderous church of England.

Going Home:

I woke at night and you were there,
standing quietly,
'come back' you said
I felt the pain and fever and sadness go

I got up and looked round at the flat
this illusion of home
and I picked up my backpack,
my tears soaked your shirt and then you went

I followed you back to my home
the only joy I have ever known
the heat and sickness were gone
and I slept under the stars again

love is a word I scarce know
but love for you and the life we knew
are real
so it is time to come home

to the starlit sky and the cold and dark
the firelight in the dark
washing in cold water and eating from bins
and sleeping like a child in your arms




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