Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Hi peeps,
I suppose I had better natter at you seeing as you grump when I don't.

Yesterday evening after much deliberating I decided not to go to Ash Wednesday Mass, so I stayed at the flat and watched television while the others went.

We found out that the demonstration and meeting that they were due to go to tomorrow were cancelled, after they had put huge effort into organizing it all. They were miffed.
I was also due to join the demo, (I had offered to clibm lamp posts and burn things but it was due to be a peaceful demo). I was also due to have sole charge of the shop for a whole 15 minutes and lock up at closing (scary). But the demo was cancelled so I have not a care in the world.

Anyway, at the end of the day I slept on the sofa and had another rough rough night with nightmares and flashbacks and half-awake distresses and being hot and needing the loo.

In the morning I was woken by a cup of tea at some unearthly hour as we were due to go to mass at 7am! well there was to be breakfast afterwards.

Unfortunately I was worried about forgetting my antibiotic and took it with my first cup of tea.
By the time we got to mass I felt really sick and thought I would either vomit or faint or simply run from mass because the flashbacks were so severe.

But I survived, and we got to breakfast, I cautiously opted for toast and we sat at a table with a load of people who also mainly ordered toast.
I chewed toast and drank tea, but a certain person thought I might be hungry and brought me over a full breakfast with FOUR sausages! I am sure it is illegal to have four sausages as well as bacon and eggs and rolls after having toast. Anyway, my friend had one of these sausages for me :)

Then we went home but I was still giddy so I went back to sleep on the sofa. My friend said I could sleep until 11 when her husband was going out as she was going out again straight away, so I slept, I had a dream that her husband came to woke me up and told me I would get better because St. Francis had been at Mass last night, I woke with a jump and wondered if I had been dreaming or not as it was very vivid, I went into the kitchen and asked him if he had come and woken me and told him about the dream, he laughed and told me it was a dream but St. Francis was at Mass last night.

I went to the shop and stashed my bag and told one of the volunteers all about my toof, because she wanted to know, then I went and got my walking stick from my hedge and then I went to counselling, counselling was tough but it is early days and I need to persevere.
Then I went to get my new boots, I got a pair of boots and I am

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