This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Thursday, 8 October 2015


The phone rang yesterday
I was overjoyed to hear your voice
I had been waiting for news
and you told me you were home from hospital

Today I came to see you
you smiled
you said you were happy
you had had a good life

your family are looking after you well
and you don't mind
when it's time to go, it's time to go
and all is well

Hey, my friend, 
I do mind,
I don't want you to die
but I can't change the inevitable

All I can do is be in agreement with you
in joy and peace
we had a wonderful time
and I can hold that for the rest of my own life

you blessed my life
and stood by me as I rebuilt it
so what can I say
I am strong enough to fly alone
when the time comes

That doesn't mean I won't cry for you
or wish you weren't going
but grief is part of life
and so is joy

you have given me life
so that I can feel joy again
and can feel love
and through that, you will be eternal

You and I will never go for a drive again
sit at the viewpoint eating ice cream
you won't be there waiting with a flask of tea
when I finish my walk,
but you are part of this kingdom I built here
and in everything in my life now,
you have been part of it

I will still sit up there
and look at the sea
and remember the first time we sat there
it is part of my life now, a continuation

I have learned, even from my destroyers themselves,
to treasure every minute, in case there is an end
and I have treasured every minute
and I will treasure it rather than grieve for it

I will go on,
and you will be with me,
in my heart,
in the patchwork of memories,
as a joy.

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