Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Wednesday, 21 January 2015

Wednesday morning

Good morning,

Well I had a really bad night with insomnia.
I was warm and comfy and surely changing linens shouldn't affect my sleep?

But I was awake for hours, and it I do as suggested and get up, then I end up with an all-nighter, which doesn't suit me as I am a day person who is scared of any form of nocturnalism.

I didn't just struggle for sleep for hours, but I only slept shallowly and to top it off, I had terrible nightmares, I was accused, trapped, treated unjustly and was voiceless.
I woke up and the nightmare of the diocese of winchester remains real, and their recent keen reading of my blogs isn't helpful, they know how to hide their stats, why aren't they doing so?

The weather has switched from freezing to wet and windy, again, it must be January.

I am sitting in bed, I woke at about 7am, woke properly, was never really asleep, and because of the nightmare I woke into flashbacks, what I have to do then is recognize the flashbacks and override them.

I was due to have a day out today but I am too tired to travel and the weather will be rotten all day, so I will stay here, maybe go into town later, and have my day out later in the week or next week.

I feel inspired to write, which is what flashbacks and nightmares do to me, but they tend to send my emotions too high and so I can't write in a balanced way and I am afraid of prolonging the flashbacks and distress and affecting my mental health, it can make things worse, or better.

I have a bit more room cleaning to do today.


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