Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Sunday, 25 January 2015

Sunday Morning

Good morning,

You will be pleased to know I slept better.

I woke early to a cool grey morning.

I had fallen asleep well and slept through, no doubt very tired from my day out.

Yesterday I set off in the cold dark early morning and watched the sun rise as I travelled, I came home watching the sun set and walking home through a similar cold dark with starry sky.
It never got warm yesterday it was cold even with the sun shining, with a bitter wind.

Yesterday evening I got home to a clean quiet house, did my hot water bottles and some tea, cooked turkey fillets with special potatos, and relaxed. I got two new books yesterday. One was an old favourite 'Insomnia' and another was 'Damn you Autocorrect' which i shouldn't have bought as I don't have much money, but I was laughing so much in the book shop that I just had to buy it, and I was walking round laughing at it, if people didn't already know I was mad, they would have wondered.

I had a great time with tea and talk with old friends yesterday.
A day out is good, it helps my brain to rest and change track, because otherwise I get very wound up, and I also get worried about leaving the safety of my den for a whole day, so I need to have days out as it is healthy. It also makes me write poetry in my head, that I forget before I can write it down.

Anyway, I slept really well, but towards morning I dreamed overwhelming and powerful dreams,

I dreamed that 'Westminster' whoever they may be, scrapped the Diocese of Winchester's silly reports and made them illegal, kind of them. They are welcome to do so in real life.
In the dream 'Westminster' sent me lots of complicated bits of paper about scrapping the Diocesan reports, and I was trying to decipher the small neat writing on official paper.

Then I dreamed I was completely alone, everyone turned away from me and my world and all the support was gone, much like when I was left homeless in Winchester in 2010 and the Diocese took all my friends and support and branded me so I had nowhere to turn, and like when the Korris report trashed my life. You know how dreams can magnify horror, well that one did. I woke slightly and then dozed again.

Then finally I dreamed I was in Bitterne in Southampton. Those of you who don't know this bit, I spent part of my childhood in Southampton and have friends there, and Bitterne is a really run down and hopeless area, the atmosphere there is kind of 'Well we don't have any choice but to live here', it has lots of student accommodation and things. But I used to a see a nice counsellor lady there in the past, so it can't all be bad.
I don't know what the dream was about. Maybe it is because I know someone who works there sometimes and I was thinking about her yesterday, last time I actually saw her, I was on the fast train through Bitterne and she was on the platform waiting for the stopping train, and I texted her and said 'Were you in Bitterne today?'
 And that surprised her.

Anyway, I woke this morning, bright and lively, well, maybe a bit sleepy because of the 5HTP, but I got up, got the kettle on and got some bacon and eggs going. Then I sorted out my kitchen food cupboard as breakfast cooked, it was on my list, so I was pleased to get it done so quickly and efficiently.

I will go to church later at the later service, those of you who are wondering.

When I got home yesterday, I was pleased that my new card reader had come through, so I could finally get the pictures of last year's sponsored walk uploaded and have a look at them.
I am quite happy with them. Hundreds of great pictures. I wonder who this year's walk will be in aid of, although I have an inkling, not sure.

Well, I have plenty of tasks for today, no shortage of things to do, but as yet, the 5HTP is still making me a bit sleepy, as it does, it is a pity it doesn't make me more sleepy in the evening as it is supposed to, it tends to wait until the morning.

I don't know what is wrong with the television and internet here, things haven't been right since the storms, and it is beyond me to resolve it.






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