Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Saturday, 26 May 2012

What has been happening?
Well on Wednesday my friend came to talk to me, it helped a bit, but barely touched on the things that distress me.
I can't really remember the rest of wednesday, I was tired and I slept, I woke up at 2am on Thursday in the worst distress ever.

Eventually I slept again, and I got up in the morning to go to work at the nature reserve.
The weather was very hot. And I got too hot, I had been feeling tired and not too well to start with, so I finished at lunchtime.

I got some lunch in town and went back to my friends' house and had a cold shower, then I tried to rest, but their loud friend turned up so I went out and rode on buses and went to soup kitchen, I wonder why their friend always turns up when I have been at work and am shattered and need to rest?
Anyway, when I went back to the house I went to sleep.

I woke up in distress again.

On Friday morning I got up and went to the daycentre and collected my post, then I went into town, missed a train as usual as the bus was running so late as usual, so I went to where my friend works and told him I was in a muddle as to what to do about the whole weekend.
He advised me to go to chavtown, help with the quiz, sleep rough for once, see how I got on, maybe come back the next day and work on the nature reserve and spend the weekend back here and then go to chavtown again on monday for my walking help.

So I decided to take his advice.
I got the next train to chavtown, survived the journey, went to the library in chavtown and left my backpack in a locker and went on the computers, saw V. but he was absorbed in his computer games and didn't notice me.

I went to the bed and breakfast and got a room for tonight, no good me rough sleeping when I am in this state.
I had a shower and a snack and some tea, of course, and watched one of my favourite programmes.

Then I headed for the church where the quiz was to be. I got there and my friend wasn't there, the quizmaster met me and told me that my friend was sorting the food out, he asked if I could do the raffle ticket sales, I did and he was taking the entrance fees at first and then I did both, the sale of raffle tickets went really well and I spent most of the quiz folding the tickets and mixing them up in a tub, then I counted the money from the entrance fees and the bar and the raffle, we did well moneywise. I helped serve the food, which was delicious, and I got to sit and chat to my friends.

It was late when I staggered back to the bed and breakfast, I fell into bed and into sleep.
I woke up at 5am in very severe distress, but I went to the loo and slept again until 8.30 and woke up peaceful but very low indeed, I am in a serious patch of depression that nothing lifts.

I got up and ambled as slow as it is possible to amble, in the direction of the train station. I got a crowded train but got a space in the corridor with no wierdos, got back to sattelite town and very slowly made my way to the nature reserve, I am so tired that the sun and every step is unbearable, I tried to do some weeding, watched trains and talked to people, but no one else was trying to do any grounds work, it was too hot, so I wandered slowly back to my friends' house, everyone is out but they know I will be here. I had a cool shower and have just been watching television and computing.

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