Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Wednesday, 14 December 2016

Wednesday

Good evening peeps,

I am sitting here feeling tired and in pain, and listening to Bob Hill's Theme. It's funny isn't it, that this is his theme for the ghost roads when he collapsed, and yet he isn't the lantern bearer, the guiding light, he was the speaker, the lantern bearer in Jersey still waits, and it looks like some of his work is done now, but not the final task of course, because that will be to lead HG from St. Clement where she sleeps, to St Ouen and lay her to rest.

Bob's Theme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nnw4STQMSc&spfreload=5

I am so tired, but I hold onto Bob Hill's life with my strength and soul, and I won't let go until I fall as well, or unless he wants to go. It is possible for a human spirit to fight for another's life, I believe that without doubt. He fought for my life, and my life is destroyed but I am alive still, for the moment.

I am still helming the boat, the sea is choppy and it is dark, and I helm alone in the silence, and it is nearly over.

Aside for that, lets have some real daily life.

I couldn't wake up this morning, I was exhausted and in pain and deeply depressed. You know it is bad when I can't rise out of the depression.
Anyway, it took me a while to get sorted and go and do some work, only a short day, finishing another garden for the season, although I have a bit of winter work for them in January, moving dormant shrubs and things like that.

After that I made a start on preparing to move house, just a small start as I am tired and in pain and my throat was all raw and abscessed again.

Then I have been trying to get some university work done, term ends this week and I have passed everything for the term but I still have plenty of stuff to get on with.
I have watched Hollyoaks, That scene with Ellie at the end of First look Hollyoaks caused brief flashbacks.

Tomorrow I have a meeting, and work and then I have to go and see my mates and exchange Christmas type cards and stuff, oh I wish it wasn't Christmas. I am too tired. I know it is a relapse, but a relapse with Christmas and moving is a bad thing.














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