Saturday

Good morning peeps,

I'm writing with voice recognition again it seems to be working better now, it's quarter past 4 in the morning and I've had another bad night so I'm awake trying to get on with paperwork and everything. I can't do my music practice or hoovering at this time of morning though.

I used to get up early a lot, up until I left Jersey, I was often up at 4 in the morning but it isn't good for me because there I get too tired during the day if I get up early.

Anyway I'm sitting here just trying to work out what to do I've put the boiler on for a hot shower and I'll do the papers at 6 o'clock.

I  wish there was a way out of this nightmare life where I have nightmares at night and flashbacks during the day and distress all the time.

 it's only a few weeks until my music exam and I have my final assignment due in for university next week.

Using voice recognition and trying to write letters this way is quite hard because although the voice recognition is quite good now it doesn't punctuate very well so I have to go through everything and paragraph and punctuate punctuate.

yesterday the rain affected my work but I went to assess  the new garden which I'm starting next week.

 today I've have yesterday and todays distribution work to catch up with.
I'm a bit worried about work and finances at the moment especially as I'm arranging a support worker for myself but I have to pay for that myself because I don't get a social services budget and I have very little money but the authorities have never really looked after me so if I want help I have to arrange it myself.

since Bob collapse and since my friends death and since the last smear attacked by the Jersey Deanery I have been struggling and it is time that I have Support even if I have to arrange it myself so wish me luck with that my income is so unstable and so load it paying for a therapist became impossible I'm paying for a support worker won't be easy.