Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Thursday, 12 November 2015

2nd Anniversary

It's cold out there
and awful dark
 but I remember
when it was our life

It was raining 
two years ago
when the end came
and I went on without you

The rain was heavy
and I was scared
and alone
so alone

I was coughing
as I do now
and I knew
I couldn't stay

I left the safe darkness
and came indoors
and you became a dream
part of the dark

sometimes the harsh lights
and heat of indoors suffocate me
and you call me from beyond the dark
and I turn and stand at the door
undecided.

could we go back now?
To the star-filled, rain-filled dark
and dance and run
and be free again?

- - - - -- - - -- - -                

Farewell to a friend
a friend from the streets
who shared the dark night
and the firelight

life out there is a kind of death
for those of us who are finished
but we keep each other company
as life and hope diminish

you and I we roamed them streets
seeking freedom from our scars
both of us still trying to escape
from those prison bars

the big dark night was the enemy
but it was also a good friend
we roamed the night with wild joy
and never knew it would end

the salt of the earth live out in the night
and you were a wonderful grain
but now your road goes on without us
never to meet again

The end is what we all wait for out there
and you are at last at peace
but I am here without you
in a night that may never cease

I wish you a peaceful journey brother,
and keep the memories here
of those days and nights as forgotten people
freed to disappear


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gwx4iTRLXG8

Child:

The stars are shining
as she peacefully sleeps
like a child in her mother's arms
home, safe nurtured, unaware of the horrors to come

wrapped in blankets on the ground
out under the starry sky
the safest place on earth
close to you, like a child in her mother's arms

lying on the ground, breathing the cold night air
and looking at the shimmering diamond sky
happy, safe, loved, peaceful
as she sleeps in your arms 

alone on the ground, wrapped in blankets
and wrapped safe in your love and acceptance
in the silent night the small creatures run and the owl hoots
but she sleeps like a child in your arms, safe, peaceful, happy

the dawn comes and she wakes,
peaceful in the cold early dawn
to light the stove, wash, stash the blankets
and wait another day to sleep, safe under your loving care

oh if only she could go back, be a child in your arms again
those dark nights of safety and love
sleeping safe in your arms forever in an endless love and care, 
it's true in every way, she found paradise there



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