Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Friday, 12 July 2013

Morning peeps,
I don't know about good.

Well, yesterday I was tired and glad to finish dozing in the library.
So I went to the church and they let me in the kitchen and unlocked a room for me so I could rest and read in peace.
I lay down on the chairs by the window and fell asleep.

I dreamed that my friend was walking up to the church and in my dream I tried to get up to say hello to her but I fell back down and she wasn't there.
My heart, not just in my dream, did one of the worst episodes of racing that it has ever done, it was frightening, I thought it would burst, I thought something must burst.
Then I heard people outside and it was my caretaker friends doing some gardening, so I got up to see them, I was dizzy and my legs were heavy but I was ok.

When they left, I stayed in church and drank tea and read my books. Then it was bed time and I had another heart-racing episode before falling into deep sleep.
I woke once in the night with nightmares and once because I somehow was talking about Kate having her baby today. Haha.
I woke in the morning, comfortable but depressed.

I got up and came here.

Today I am supposed to go and see my psychologist but I wish I didn't have to, I don't feel like travelling.

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