Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Morning peeps,
When the library closed yesterday I had a few hours to wait until bed time and enough money for a chip butty and enough stickers for a cup of tea.

Eventually I went and lay down in the blanket pile in the corner and slept, I woke at 1.30am feeling very rough, the drunken shouts nearby had been mingling with my nightmares and I was cold - which is unusual and I needed the loo, the weather was changing for the worse with the wind picking up and rain coming in, so I removed myself to the safety and shelter of the porch.
I was unusually cold and so I fished some handwarmers out of the backpack and put one in my bandanna and one in my sleeping bag and tucked down and slept again.

I woke up warm and comfy at 7am and the rain had stopped but it was windy and the ground was wet.
I felt low and it is always hard to get up when I feel like this, and I was in pain, i dragged myself out of the blankets and packed up and stashed everything. My money was in so I got breakfast at McD's and sat there for some time reading my book, then I had a wash and waited for the library to open.
I didn't feel like a walk. My system is on the blink, there is blood when there shouldn't be and there is pain, very noticable pain and no longer just the sharp intermittent pain, it is radiating and dull deep pain, I have put a heat patch on my side but I do not think it is just gallbladder pain now, something is wrong and my heart keep beating wrong too.

I need my friends at the moment but at the moment there is no-one to turn to right now.

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