Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Sunday, 29 April 2012

what is home like
to a broken heart
who long since stopped believing
in home

what is home like
to someone who came in
from years in the cold
and doesn't know home

what is home like
well it is like this
disbelief
disbelief in a home

how can you believe
in real love and trust
when you have been out there all that time
how can you believe in home

can you imagine real food
the kind you only get in houses
family houses
in a home

can you imagine all the time
that has to be filled
with nice things
family things in a home

in a home there is more time
than when you are out there
scavanging for food
more gentle empty time in a home

Can you imagine playiong games
and studying
as if this was normal
it is normal in a home

Imagine someone bringing you a cuppa
caring about you
not making you feel small
never saying out loud that this is home

can you imagine being distracted
from the trauma and heartache
that left you on the streets
can you imagine coming home

Imagine lying warm and safe in your blankets
and hear the rain falling while you stay dry
no longer on the lookout
safe in home

It is hard to imagine
and hard to believe it might last
and puzzling
suddenly the streets have gone and you are home

Home is love and tolerance so great
that it heals your soul and gives you hope
Home is comfort when the memories make you whimper
home is people and not alone any more

Home is for now because there is no tomorrow yet
for the wanderer who lived in a hedge and dined from bins
home is clean and fed, rested and peaceful
most of all, Home is love and hope and peace

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