Just to say, first and foremost I may not be blogging much this week, a bit taken up with moving home and surviving, nothing to worry about. Stalkerstat keeps logging in, Stalky, chill out, how come you were online during church?
This week I have had two episodes of hypoglycemia, and one nearly, I am just recovering from the second one now, thank God for neighbours who keep sugar in stock, I don't use sugar much.
The problem with a hypo is that it creeps up and becomes a real problem before you realise it, I tend to be drowsy and confused by the time I realise I am in difficulties, and the thing is, all it takes is something with sugar to put it right, as soon as you get something sugary into your mouth it starts to dissolve into the blood stream.
Normally I am extremely careful, I don't skip meals. I have known since I used to get very ill indeed when my youth group did sponsored fasts, that I can't fast.
You know what used to annoy me so much about the evilangelicals? Always always trying to tell me to fast! They fast so they can be seen, which makes it pointless.
The thing is with moving house, when you are destitute, if you use all your money on moving, then there is none left for food. So I keep going hypo, because I don't have sugar for tea and coffee normally so there is none in the house.
When I was on the streets, if I had a pound I had to choose between a hot drink with sugar or a cheap crappy McDonalds burger.
I have gone without adequate food this week and there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing at all, there is no welfare available and I have no backup at all and never have had. Life started like this and went on like this. I guess that the church will be pushing me into desparate situations for the rest of my life.
I hope that at least briefly I can rest at my new home before the church trash my life again, but it is hard to hope for any form of change for the better now, it is getting too late.
I was writing this yesterday but am just continuing now. 'The Horse Whisperer' is on and I shouldn't watch it because it is distressing.
Moving house has taken all my money and I have no reserve, hard work uses more sugar, so yesterday I nearly went hypo, again, it was a good thing my neighbour had some sugar, he had just the end of a bag and so I was able to take in some sugar and then I lay on the floor and yawned until the hypo went over, it is very quick once you have sugar in your bloodstream.
I don't have any money, still, I do have money due to me next week, and work, but I have to stay awake until then, and I will. I do not beg or ask, but I will survive, after all I lived on the streets and ate out of bins for three years, didn't I?
Your fault, stalky, stop making things worse for me!
A survivor of Church abuse and cover ups goes on battling for her voice to be heard. A daily account of life after the Diocese of Winchester destroyed her and the slow and painful steps to rebuilding a life.
Introduction
This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/
The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.
The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.
Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP
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