Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Friday, 3 June 2016

Farewell Florence

There was still light back then
When the patter of norty wheels was first heard
back then Bob could speak, and he did,  much to my annoyance
and my friend was alive and happy

I remember the sunlight and the green garden
my friend smiling when I hesitantly told her
'...well, there's this car...'
What time? She asked, she never once disapproved of my ideas

She didn't need to be disapproving or cautious, she let me be me which is wisdom
and so that evening we went, and we met Florence
I knew when I saw Florence
That this wasn't 'a car' this was Love, she was the only car we saw

I also knew that she was very old
older than Anna had been in the end in Jersey
but I  knew that to have lived to see this day
to drive again, was incredible beyond belief

My friend and I went for a drive after meeting Florence
and we talked and drove, and it was nice
And a few days later, we went to collect her
Florence grinned smugly, of course she had known we'd be back

We drove home through that sunny evening
and although driving again awoke the trauma 
it was like being alive again
I was all nerves despite my refresher lessons

Then, guess what our Flo did?
She broke down two days later! 
Haha, what a nightmare! 
What a girl! But she gave me back my confidence in driving

Yeah, she's old, she occasionally blows a gasket
Thankfully we always got her running again
a certain person says she does it deliberately
but I think her driver is secretly a girl racer

We've had a good year, me and Florence
and sometimes she is Anna, and we've been together forever
blur the edges, change the memory
the words that saved my life and brought me here

The winter never ended this time
the sunlight of last summer went
and Bob fell and my friend died
and the sunlight went, darkness eternal
no more hope
no reason to fight the evil destroyers who won

Now Florence is also going
and all I want to do is drive
endless smooth quiet driving
the last dance before she spins away into the dark with the others
and I am alone, waiting for my turn to go too







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