It is really hard to focus at the moment, and I am getting chest pains most days from asthma and anxiety caused by the Church of England trashing my life.
I went to the drop in and got a noisy greeting and an immediate brunch put in front of me, which I followed up with loads and loads of coffee.
The coffee made me hyper of course, and there is no-one to play with at the drop-in, although they are all nice, they are not kids like me.
So I played with the scrabble letters and annexed my wall in the sunshine to sit in and declared it an independent country, and I buzzed nortily about and chatted to people and got chatted to.
Then I wandered nortily off again.
Wednesday, 14 May 2014
Wednesday Morning
Good morning,
Well last night I went to bed later than I hoped, distracted by the continued CofE charade.
I thankfully woke early enough to wash and dress before going to my hairdressing appointment.
My hair is now different, how interesting.
I sat outside the cafe with a mug of tea and looked at the Great Hill, sharp and clear against a clear blue sky.
Then I came back here.
Well last night I went to bed later than I hoped, distracted by the continued CofE charade.
I thankfully woke early enough to wash and dress before going to my hairdressing appointment.
My hair is now different, how interesting.
I sat outside the cafe with a mug of tea and looked at the Great Hill, sharp and clear against a clear blue sky.
Then I came back here.
Tuesday, 13 May 2014
Tuesday Evening
Good evening,
Well I went out earlier. Booked a haircut, had a short walk.
Since the Archbishop's interview, I have been in difficulties, mainly in going outdoors and being with people, I am scared to be away from the computer when the next devastating bit of news breaks, possibly today and I am scared that I will see my friends and they will turn away as people in Winchester did when the diocese slandered me to them, I can't take any more hurt.
I am like Steven from 'Bunny and the Bull' I am scared of going out.
Anyway, I did fish pie and carrots for lunch, I am doing well with carrots in small bites, and I had an orange and have not brought any of it back up.
Mainly I have been sitting here reading and doing a task list, but I am worried that I am very tense, overwhelmed and trying to do too much and getting very little done, this is partly to do with the church problem and partly due to the anxiety of having a flat.
There was a thunderstorm earlier, but I hope it will stay dry while I force myself to have a short walk, I am scared and immobile, I wish it was over, wish the diocese had killed me by now and I would be at rest and not tense and battling.
I have made coffee as I have been drinking tea so much it turns tasteless.
Well I went out earlier. Booked a haircut, had a short walk.
Since the Archbishop's interview, I have been in difficulties, mainly in going outdoors and being with people, I am scared to be away from the computer when the next devastating bit of news breaks, possibly today and I am scared that I will see my friends and they will turn away as people in Winchester did when the diocese slandered me to them, I can't take any more hurt.
I am like Steven from 'Bunny and the Bull' I am scared of going out.
Anyway, I did fish pie and carrots for lunch, I am doing well with carrots in small bites, and I had an orange and have not brought any of it back up.
Mainly I have been sitting here reading and doing a task list, but I am worried that I am very tense, overwhelmed and trying to do too much and getting very little done, this is partly to do with the church problem and partly due to the anxiety of having a flat.
There was a thunderstorm earlier, but I hope it will stay dry while I force myself to have a short walk, I am scared and immobile, I wish it was over, wish the diocese had killed me by now and I would be at rest and not tense and battling.
I have made coffee as I have been drinking tea so much it turns tasteless.
Tuesday Morning
Good morning,
Well, I had a very bad night, I was in and out of nightmares that scared me and I was hot and cold, by 4am I was awake, looking at the light in the eastern sky and wondering if I should get up and be tired all day or sleep and oversleep, I managed to sleep and oversleep, and the nightmares continued but before I woke I dreamed peacefully that I was in a wheelchair but my old friend insisted on pushing it up the hills because we might be late for church otherwise, that was a sweet dream.
I was going to go to Mass this morning but oversleeping means I missed that, I am still in my pyjamas! Although I have run the water for a wash.
I need to get my hair done, the man at the drop-in chopped at it and made a bit of a mess of it, to be honest.
I am tired anyway.
Amused to see CofE readers of the other blog appear to have removed their stats, or is the feed playing up?
Well, I had a very bad night, I was in and out of nightmares that scared me and I was hot and cold, by 4am I was awake, looking at the light in the eastern sky and wondering if I should get up and be tired all day or sleep and oversleep, I managed to sleep and oversleep, and the nightmares continued but before I woke I dreamed peacefully that I was in a wheelchair but my old friend insisted on pushing it up the hills because we might be late for church otherwise, that was a sweet dream.
I was going to go to Mass this morning but oversleeping means I missed that, I am still in my pyjamas! Although I have run the water for a wash.
I need to get my hair done, the man at the drop-in chopped at it and made a bit of a mess of it, to be honest.
I am tired anyway.
Amused to see CofE readers of the other blog appear to have removed their stats, or is the feed playing up?
Monday, 12 May 2014
Monday Evening
Good evening,
Well I have been doing various tasks and housework, had a bath, had a short walk, I can't relax, my muscles are so tight that they are burning, which is not good for my injuries, it causes everything to seize up and be too painful.
I am going to bed in a moment.
Well I have been doing various tasks and housework, had a bath, had a short walk, I can't relax, my muscles are so tight that they are burning, which is not good for my injuries, it causes everything to seize up and be too painful.
I am going to bed in a moment.
Monday Afternoon
Well it was a bit of a day for things bumping and breaking, a dyspraxic day, the computer developed a problem that was either battery or charger, so I put computer and charger in the bag and headed for the shop, the charger had failed so they gave me a new one.
I'm not having much luck with computers.
I went and sat outside a cafe and had a bacon roll and a cuppa and watched the dark clouds swooping down over the Great Hill and chasing the sun away, and before the rain started, I got on a bus to go up to the supermarket.
The road is closed between here and the supermarket, so the bus has to go a very long way round and not suitable route for buses, the roads really jar my spine.
So the shopping took a long time today.
I got some healthy food and vitamins, I am trying to work healthy into my life as, on the streets you can't do that, you have to eat what you can get, and because I am not very good at digesting cellulose in fruit and veg, I am working to see what healthy things I can eat, I never understood what is and isn't healthy and that NHS nurse being so rude to me about it hasn't helped.
Anyway, home and the fridge is full of nice stuff.
I also got a cotton top so I can throw away one of the holey old ones if I can bear to.
I have been doing my general knowledge quizzes, which is fun.
I'm not having much luck with computers.
I went and sat outside a cafe and had a bacon roll and a cuppa and watched the dark clouds swooping down over the Great Hill and chasing the sun away, and before the rain started, I got on a bus to go up to the supermarket.
The road is closed between here and the supermarket, so the bus has to go a very long way round and not suitable route for buses, the roads really jar my spine.
So the shopping took a long time today.
I got some healthy food and vitamins, I am trying to work healthy into my life as, on the streets you can't do that, you have to eat what you can get, and because I am not very good at digesting cellulose in fruit and veg, I am working to see what healthy things I can eat, I never understood what is and isn't healthy and that NHS nurse being so rude to me about it hasn't helped.
Anyway, home and the fridge is full of nice stuff.
I also got a cotton top so I can throw away one of the holey old ones if I can bear to.
I have been doing my general knowledge quizzes, which is fun.
Monday Morning
Good morning,
Well someone confused me by saying this weekend was a bank holiday weekend, and it isn't.
So I got up, and the day started bad, with the lamp going flying, the sink backing up and the kettle spilling water everywhere.
I am just sitting here with the first cup of tea.
At least if it isn't bank holiday, I can do my shopping and write a few cards and post them.
It is bright sunshine out there, I am not ready for that yet.
Well someone confused me by saying this weekend was a bank holiday weekend, and it isn't.
So I got up, and the day started bad, with the lamp going flying, the sink backing up and the kettle spilling water everywhere.
I am just sitting here with the first cup of tea.
At least if it isn't bank holiday, I can do my shopping and write a few cards and post them.
It is bright sunshine out there, I am not ready for that yet.
Sunday, 11 May 2014
Sunday Evening
Good evening,
Well, the washing dried and I put the linens out, but the strong winds keep bringing sharp showers, so one minute the linens are nearly dry, and next minute they have had another rinse.
I found a copy of 'Bunny and the Bull' and have been watching that, I had no recollection of it being so frightening and shocking, last time, the only other time I watched it I was newly homeless in Winchester and watched it at my friend's flat before sleeping on her sofa.
It is a multi-layered film with portrayal of drug use or serious mental illness and some of it is horrifying.
Unfortunately the bull fight at the end is remeniscent of how I can't seem to escape the horrifying Church of England situation, and how it may well end.
So I have put 'Song for Marion' on as that is an excellent film which also reminds me of the here and now, but in a very different way!
I have been out for my walk but struggled to make my usual distance, I wish I could walk again, run again, have strength in the sack of concrete that my body has become.
I am sad and confused about Polo and Elle suddenly abandoning me with no explanation, I suppose that as the end, whatever that may be, approaches ever more rapidly, that was going to happen, no one in their right mind stays with the loser as they go down.
I do not know what acts of vengefulness the Church of England have planned, more beatings and detentions for me speaking up in reply to their crazy interviews, more damning press releases and reports, all I know is that I am losing life and if they don't stop, I can't see a future for myself at all.
Stupid and needless interviews like the Archbishop's BBC interview disrupt every area of my life, when will it stop?
Well, the washing dried and I put the linens out, but the strong winds keep bringing sharp showers, so one minute the linens are nearly dry, and next minute they have had another rinse.
I found a copy of 'Bunny and the Bull' and have been watching that, I had no recollection of it being so frightening and shocking, last time, the only other time I watched it I was newly homeless in Winchester and watched it at my friend's flat before sleeping on her sofa.
It is a multi-layered film with portrayal of drug use or serious mental illness and some of it is horrifying.
Unfortunately the bull fight at the end is remeniscent of how I can't seem to escape the horrifying Church of England situation, and how it may well end.
So I have put 'Song for Marion' on as that is an excellent film which also reminds me of the here and now, but in a very different way!
I have been out for my walk but struggled to make my usual distance, I wish I could walk again, run again, have strength in the sack of concrete that my body has become.
I am sad and confused about Polo and Elle suddenly abandoning me with no explanation, I suppose that as the end, whatever that may be, approaches ever more rapidly, that was going to happen, no one in their right mind stays with the loser as they go down.
I do not know what acts of vengefulness the Church of England have planned, more beatings and detentions for me speaking up in reply to their crazy interviews, more damning press releases and reports, all I know is that I am losing life and if they don't stop, I can't see a future for myself at all.
Stupid and needless interviews like the Archbishop's BBC interview disrupt every area of my life, when will it stop?
Sunday lunchtime
Good lunchtime,
I started washing and sorting myself out this morning, and for some strange psychological reason I always start sorting the flat out at the same time as sorting myself out, so I am running water for a wash and for the washing up, and wiping the surfaces while washing my face etc, I think I am a bit confused by having been homeless so long, and it is the same as the scramble to tidy up and pack away that I used to do in the mornings as a rough sleeper.
Anyway, as a result, the flat is hoovered, mopped, wiped, washed, and the rubbish is out, one lot of washing is just finishing drying on the line, while the linen wash has just finished and is waiting to go out, in these gales the washing either dries rapidly or emigrates.
Now the place is spotless and I am fed on hot chicken and bread and a bit of bakewell and am on my post-lunch cuppa, I have ceremoniously put a jigsaw puzzle on the table, I am surprised to see it is only a 500 piece puzzle, I thought it was a 1000 piece.
It is a steam train puzzle, and everyone does jigsaws if there is a holiday, so I am doing a jigsaw.
The good thing about it being a 500-piece is that I will get my table back sooner.
I have a feeling that the legalistic idiots in the CofE would be screaming about me doing my housework on Sunday, er, yes, I went through all this with Jill Lihou, who was an expert at narrow legalism.
Apparently because the 10 commandments say 'Keep the Sabbath day Holy', I am not supposed to do anything on Sunday.
Yeah, I remember Jill Lihou criticizing me for working on a Sunday, I asked her how I was supposed to earn my living if that was when my employers had shifts for me? And what about emergency services, and why was the Vicar breaking the Sabbath by working?
The answer was 'Oh well, if people have to!'.
So some people have to break the Sabbath?
It needled me, back when I was young and dependent and immature and since, I was indeed, despite being a questioner, a sheeple, who let these old and narrow people control me. And sadly, many vulnerable people are both led astray and away from God by the CofE's legalistic teachings and become part of this legalism that is set against Jesus' teaching.
But here we go.
The Pharisees inflicted this same legalism on Jesus and His Disciples 2000 years ago and still the old legalistic control freaks in the Church of England prefer to abuse the 10 Commandments to suit themselves and control others.
The Church of England appear not to know or understand Matthew Chapter 12. Verses 1 to 8.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2012&version=NIV
So, I know, better than poor Jill, who needed to be in control because she was ill and because she was sexually assaulted in the past, that I am not committing wrong by doing my housework today and I needn't feel guilty and expect to go to hell or have displeased my Lord, He is not that fussy!
Because where does 'Keep the Sabbath Day Holy' Translate to don't work?
Jesus said 'needs must', there are more important things in life than legalism.
And old narrow church people 'keeping the Sabbath' blindly, while slating others, are committing that Sin of Judgement, legalism, controlling.
And finally, every member of the CofE would be breaking 'Keep the Sabbath Holy' if it was really about not working, because the Sabbath, in My Father's land and tongue, is not Sunday, but Saturday.
Shabbat.
God rested on the 7th Day, Shabbat, not Yom Rishon.
And He does approve of us resting.
I started washing and sorting myself out this morning, and for some strange psychological reason I always start sorting the flat out at the same time as sorting myself out, so I am running water for a wash and for the washing up, and wiping the surfaces while washing my face etc, I think I am a bit confused by having been homeless so long, and it is the same as the scramble to tidy up and pack away that I used to do in the mornings as a rough sleeper.
Anyway, as a result, the flat is hoovered, mopped, wiped, washed, and the rubbish is out, one lot of washing is just finishing drying on the line, while the linen wash has just finished and is waiting to go out, in these gales the washing either dries rapidly or emigrates.
Now the place is spotless and I am fed on hot chicken and bread and a bit of bakewell and am on my post-lunch cuppa, I have ceremoniously put a jigsaw puzzle on the table, I am surprised to see it is only a 500 piece puzzle, I thought it was a 1000 piece.
It is a steam train puzzle, and everyone does jigsaws if there is a holiday, so I am doing a jigsaw.
The good thing about it being a 500-piece is that I will get my table back sooner.
I have a feeling that the legalistic idiots in the CofE would be screaming about me doing my housework on Sunday, er, yes, I went through all this with Jill Lihou, who was an expert at narrow legalism.
Apparently because the 10 commandments say 'Keep the Sabbath day Holy', I am not supposed to do anything on Sunday.
Yeah, I remember Jill Lihou criticizing me for working on a Sunday, I asked her how I was supposed to earn my living if that was when my employers had shifts for me? And what about emergency services, and why was the Vicar breaking the Sabbath by working?
The answer was 'Oh well, if people have to!'.
So some people have to break the Sabbath?
It needled me, back when I was young and dependent and immature and since, I was indeed, despite being a questioner, a sheeple, who let these old and narrow people control me. And sadly, many vulnerable people are both led astray and away from God by the CofE's legalistic teachings and become part of this legalism that is set against Jesus' teaching.
But here we go.
The Pharisees inflicted this same legalism on Jesus and His Disciples 2000 years ago and still the old legalistic control freaks in the Church of England prefer to abuse the 10 Commandments to suit themselves and control others.
The Church of England appear not to know or understand Matthew Chapter 12. Verses 1 to 8.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2012&version=NIV
So, I know, better than poor Jill, who needed to be in control because she was ill and because she was sexually assaulted in the past, that I am not committing wrong by doing my housework today and I needn't feel guilty and expect to go to hell or have displeased my Lord, He is not that fussy!
Because where does 'Keep the Sabbath Day Holy' Translate to don't work?
Jesus said 'needs must', there are more important things in life than legalism.
And old narrow church people 'keeping the Sabbath' blindly, while slating others, are committing that Sin of Judgement, legalism, controlling.
And finally, every member of the CofE would be breaking 'Keep the Sabbath Holy' if it was really about not working, because the Sabbath, in My Father's land and tongue, is not Sunday, but Saturday.
Shabbat.
God rested on the 7th Day, Shabbat, not Yom Rishon.
And He does approve of us resting.
Sunday Morning
Good morning,
I am sitting in my chair, the wind is blowing strongly outside but the sun is shining,
I should go to church, I really should. See my old people :) but although I slept, and my spine has relaxed a bit, I am tired.
I am having my first cuppa and thinking about today, I think today is for walks, bacon rolls and doing puzzles and learning, and maybe a few movies.
I think want to be alone and quiet as I am so tired.
The problem is, I have become more isolated this week by not being in my activities due to tiredness and illness and the bonkers Church of England.
I am sitting in my chair, the wind is blowing strongly outside but the sun is shining,
I should go to church, I really should. See my old people :) but although I slept, and my spine has relaxed a bit, I am tired.
I am having my first cuppa and thinking about today, I think today is for walks, bacon rolls and doing puzzles and learning, and maybe a few movies.
I think want to be alone and quiet as I am so tired.
The problem is, I have become more isolated this week by not being in my activities due to tiredness and illness and the bonkers Church of England.
Saturday, 10 May 2014
Saturday Evening
Good evening,
Well I am pleased to say that when I went to check, both lots of money were in my account, so I went and got some solid food for my lunch, and some IBS pills from the chemist.
I cooked lunch and headed into town for shopping for quiz and puzzle books and language CDs and things, re-starting my personal development, the things in Jersey that I used to work so hard on, languages and music and other things.
I got too tired to do clothes shopping, which I need to do, I got some clothes the other week, but my wardrobe is still sparse and scruffy.
I also did get some toiletries, much needed and a candle, I am not happy without a candle burning in my home, no idea why, but it has always been the case.
I am very tired and the weather is a howling gale, but I need to sternly boot myself out for a brief walk.
It looks like I am not on duty tomorrow now, no bad thing, I am in a very poor shape.
I get tired and have trouble with just basic things at the moment, I have been looking at the price of wheelchairs even though I want to stay on my feet.
I felt sad because my friend Polo wont speak to me, after causing me massive shock by breaking the news inaccurately on twitter about the Archbishop and then he wont speak to me even though I was not angry, but I guess I learned something from the diocese, no-one and nothing is of real worth because of how easily you can lose them.
Well I am pleased to say that when I went to check, both lots of money were in my account, so I went and got some solid food for my lunch, and some IBS pills from the chemist.
I cooked lunch and headed into town for shopping for quiz and puzzle books and language CDs and things, re-starting my personal development, the things in Jersey that I used to work so hard on, languages and music and other things.
I got too tired to do clothes shopping, which I need to do, I got some clothes the other week, but my wardrobe is still sparse and scruffy.
I also did get some toiletries, much needed and a candle, I am not happy without a candle burning in my home, no idea why, but it has always been the case.
I am very tired and the weather is a howling gale, but I need to sternly boot myself out for a brief walk.
It looks like I am not on duty tomorrow now, no bad thing, I am in a very poor shape.
I get tired and have trouble with just basic things at the moment, I have been looking at the price of wheelchairs even though I want to stay on my feet.
I felt sad because my friend Polo wont speak to me, after causing me massive shock by breaking the news inaccurately on twitter about the Archbishop and then he wont speak to me even though I was not angry, but I guess I learned something from the diocese, no-one and nothing is of real worth because of how easily you can lose them.
Saturday Morning
Good morning,
Well I had a walk last night and realised that I want to stay where I am and keep my home, because I realised:
This place is more beautiful than Jersey.
It is.
I sat in my chair and read 'The Shack' last night, but when I went to bed I was ill, I had a temperature that started yesterday while I was writing a statement about the Archbishop, and I was sick during the night and felt very uncomfortable.
I woke this morning feeling quite a bit better, and did my usual routines, and proceeded to the computer.
Relieved to find very little reaction to my Archbishop statement, the CofE haven't got around to shooting their mouths off again yet.
It is raining here.
Well I had a walk last night and realised that I want to stay where I am and keep my home, because I realised:
This place is more beautiful than Jersey.
It is.
I sat in my chair and read 'The Shack' last night, but when I went to bed I was ill, I had a temperature that started yesterday while I was writing a statement about the Archbishop, and I was sick during the night and felt very uncomfortable.
I woke this morning feeling quite a bit better, and did my usual routines, and proceeded to the computer.
Relieved to find very little reaction to my Archbishop statement, the CofE haven't got around to shooting their mouths off again yet.
It is raining here.
Friday, 9 May 2014
Friday Afternoon
Good afternoon,
Well I am feeling miffed because neither lot of money that I am expecting has come in yet.
I did warm bread and rice for lunch but never ate the rice.
I did my exercises, but sadly my changing the pillows last night has led to me upsetting my neck,so the nerves are upset and my right side has gone weak, this freaked me when it started happening last year, because it can seem like a stroke or conversion disorder, which I thought it was.
I have to be real careful how I lie down at night because it is so easy to upset my spine.
I was only trying to make it more comfortable, because sleeping with the orthopedic pillow and another pillow is not comfortable and I tried to change things by removing the pillow and sleeping with the orthopedic one with a folded blanket to raise it up :( I need a flat pillow.
It is a lovely but very windy day. I would have to watch the washing if I put it out.
Sunday and tomorrow are due galeforce, so Sunday's event is going to be a challenge.
Well I am feeling miffed because neither lot of money that I am expecting has come in yet.
I did warm bread and rice for lunch but never ate the rice.
I did my exercises, but sadly my changing the pillows last night has led to me upsetting my neck,so the nerves are upset and my right side has gone weak, this freaked me when it started happening last year, because it can seem like a stroke or conversion disorder, which I thought it was.
I have to be real careful how I lie down at night because it is so easy to upset my spine.
I was only trying to make it more comfortable, because sleeping with the orthopedic pillow and another pillow is not comfortable and I tried to change things by removing the pillow and sleeping with the orthopedic one with a folded blanket to raise it up :( I need a flat pillow.
It is a lovely but very windy day. I would have to watch the washing if I put it out.
Sunday and tomorrow are due galeforce, so Sunday's event is going to be a challenge.
Friday Morning
Good morning,
Last night I went out riding on buses, got back, tried to eat something, not hungry, tried to rearrange my pillows so I could sleep better but I think that was counterproductive, I slept but my neck was a bit out this morning, so I started breakfasting on painkillers and realised that wasn't good for me, so I had some tea and toast as well.
I am tired and not walking well, but one of my neighbours said it would help my knee if I bandaged it, so I did.
Last night I went out riding on buses, got back, tried to eat something, not hungry, tried to rearrange my pillows so I could sleep better but I think that was counterproductive, I slept but my neck was a bit out this morning, so I started breakfasting on painkillers and realised that wasn't good for me, so I had some tea and toast as well.
I am tired and not walking well, but one of my neighbours said it would help my knee if I bandaged it, so I did.
Thursday, 8 May 2014
Thursday Morning
Good morning,
Please excuse the lack of blog, not only have I been ill, but the computer crashed again and also my bus pass ran out and I only had enough money for the day's food yesterday, and there was no library open within my limited walking distance.
Yesterday morning I woke after a normal night's sleep, to find that I could hardly walk, my bad leg was painful and awkward and so was my knee on what used to be my good leg, so was my back, and I was exhausted before the day had begun.
I knew I couldn't stay in bed, so I set out to complete some tasks, mainly dropping off paperwork to the local office, walking up there was very hard, I kept thinking about a wheelchair, because it was such a short walk and yet I struggled, like swimming through treacle. I have a feeling that my heart is struggling a bit again, I have had racing heartbeat a few times recently, so I took asperin.
I may get a lightweight wheelchair for days when walking is too much, I will never afford a mobility scooter unless I get Higher rate mobility allowance, which may or may not happen.
Anyway, three trips up and down the road, with walking getting a bit better, normal meals and usual routines and the flat as clean and tidy as can be and lots of task lists done.
I didn't go to the drop in as I was too tired and busy, and in the evening I just had a normal gentle walk and did lots of thinking.
I also did lots of reading yesterday.
I slept as normal and woke up a bit better today but worried as to how the day was going to go, with the changeover with my benefits.
Thankfully my money was in, and I withdrew enough for a bus pass and headed for town early after breakfast.
I got in town with my broken computer and the shop refunded it because it has never worked well and was under warranty, they did the fund by transfer but it hasn't come through yet, but in the meantime I did a transfer of the rest of my benefit to my rent account so the rent is paid.
Relief, I was worried that the benefits would mess up again.
Yesterday was a glorious sunny day with a fresh breeze, but I had no washing powder left, so I could not make use of the good laundry weather, today I should have money for washing powder later but the weather is pouring rain with no end in sight and more bad weather on the way.
Not great because this weekend is a big event that I should be helping with, and we are all gonna get drenched.
Just gonna sit and catch up, thankfully seems there is no more news of the CofE talking trash on air.
When the computer refund comes in, I am gonna get art stuff and puzzles and study books to encourage my brain to keep recovering and reconnecting. That'll be fun.
Please excuse the lack of blog, not only have I been ill, but the computer crashed again and also my bus pass ran out and I only had enough money for the day's food yesterday, and there was no library open within my limited walking distance.
Yesterday morning I woke after a normal night's sleep, to find that I could hardly walk, my bad leg was painful and awkward and so was my knee on what used to be my good leg, so was my back, and I was exhausted before the day had begun.
I knew I couldn't stay in bed, so I set out to complete some tasks, mainly dropping off paperwork to the local office, walking up there was very hard, I kept thinking about a wheelchair, because it was such a short walk and yet I struggled, like swimming through treacle. I have a feeling that my heart is struggling a bit again, I have had racing heartbeat a few times recently, so I took asperin.
I may get a lightweight wheelchair for days when walking is too much, I will never afford a mobility scooter unless I get Higher rate mobility allowance, which may or may not happen.
Anyway, three trips up and down the road, with walking getting a bit better, normal meals and usual routines and the flat as clean and tidy as can be and lots of task lists done.
I didn't go to the drop in as I was too tired and busy, and in the evening I just had a normal gentle walk and did lots of thinking.
I also did lots of reading yesterday.
I slept as normal and woke up a bit better today but worried as to how the day was going to go, with the changeover with my benefits.
Thankfully my money was in, and I withdrew enough for a bus pass and headed for town early after breakfast.
I got in town with my broken computer and the shop refunded it because it has never worked well and was under warranty, they did the fund by transfer but it hasn't come through yet, but in the meantime I did a transfer of the rest of my benefit to my rent account so the rent is paid.
Relief, I was worried that the benefits would mess up again.
Yesterday was a glorious sunny day with a fresh breeze, but I had no washing powder left, so I could not make use of the good laundry weather, today I should have money for washing powder later but the weather is pouring rain with no end in sight and more bad weather on the way.
Not great because this weekend is a big event that I should be helping with, and we are all gonna get drenched.
Just gonna sit and catch up, thankfully seems there is no more news of the CofE talking trash on air.
When the computer refund comes in, I am gonna get art stuff and puzzles and study books to encourage my brain to keep recovering and reconnecting. That'll be fun.
Tuesday, 6 May 2014
Tuesday Afternoon
I am too tired and sick to do much.
I spent part of the morning at the drop-in and had lunch and came back home.
I am probably going to have to sleep again.
I can't get the energy to get through each day any more.
Don't worry if I am not online much, it is just that I can't get the energy at the moment.
I spent part of the morning at the drop-in and had lunch and came back home.
I am probably going to have to sleep again.
I can't get the energy to get through each day any more.
Don't worry if I am not online much, it is just that I can't get the energy at the moment.
Tuesday Morning
Good morning,
Well here I am awake and a bit better.
It was 1am before I slept again, I am not pleased that my routine is being mucked up by those brutes in the CofE.
It is impossible to plan my schedules when I am shaky and unsure what I will be able to do or how I will be damaged next.
I really need to make sure I am on checkpoint for the weekend rather than walking, etc, and I need the CofE to leave me alone to live my life, they aren't harassing my abuser, why are they harassing me?
Well anyway, last night I slept from 1am and woke this morning at a reasonable time, I had been dreaming, fraught and tense dreams but not nightmares.
So here I am, sitting in my early morning chair, where I am supposed take time out to read, think and study, none of which I am doing, thanks to the church of England.
I have had several cups of tea but no breakfast, and I need to sort myself out and become presentable and go down to the drop-in.
How can I convey to the wretched CofE how much they wreck my world with their silly games?
Well here I am awake and a bit better.
It was 1am before I slept again, I am not pleased that my routine is being mucked up by those brutes in the CofE.
It is impossible to plan my schedules when I am shaky and unsure what I will be able to do or how I will be damaged next.
I really need to make sure I am on checkpoint for the weekend rather than walking, etc, and I need the CofE to leave me alone to live my life, they aren't harassing my abuser, why are they harassing me?
Well anyway, last night I slept from 1am and woke this morning at a reasonable time, I had been dreaming, fraught and tense dreams but not nightmares.
So here I am, sitting in my early morning chair, where I am supposed take time out to read, think and study, none of which I am doing, thanks to the church of England.
I have had several cups of tea but no breakfast, and I need to sort myself out and become presentable and go down to the drop-in.
How can I convey to the wretched CofE how much they wreck my world with their silly games?
Monday, 5 May 2014
Monday Evening
Good evening,
Well my day was wrecked, I had intended to have a restful day, doing task lists but not at any speed, I have so much to do but nothing urgent, so this morning I was pleased to wale early and get an early morning walk in the sunshine.
I got the flat clean and was idly going through twitter when I saw something that made me freeze with horror, what a way to find out, those fatherless idiots in the CofE have been aimlessly and injuriously shooting their mouths off again.
So that was the end of my peaceful day, although I had already been suffering the after-effects of the nightmare of being in prison, again.
I couldn't really get on with anything once I had heard, and no-one would explain to me what had happened, so I emailed the diocese, which always puts me at risk of beatings and detentions, and then I went out, I ended up sitting on the wall as my bowling group started gathering, and they decided to drag me along even though I didn't feel like playing, someone else didn't want to play, so we went round doing photography instead.
When I got home, I was shattered and distressed, so I went to bed, and slept until this evening, sadly the dreams wont stop, and I dreamed of Jane Fisher, she was being all nice and frothy in the dream and no amount of froth changed my feelings or the damage she has done, and in the dream, the Scott-Joynts came along and tried to tell me (as they did in real life) that she had only ever helped me and that she was nice.
I was screaming mad in the dream and relieved to wake up.
I wish the dreams would stop, I wish this hell would stop coming back to me.
I have been watching movies on the laptop, and I may go back to bed soon.
Well my day was wrecked, I had intended to have a restful day, doing task lists but not at any speed, I have so much to do but nothing urgent, so this morning I was pleased to wale early and get an early morning walk in the sunshine.
I got the flat clean and was idly going through twitter when I saw something that made me freeze with horror, what a way to find out, those fatherless idiots in the CofE have been aimlessly and injuriously shooting their mouths off again.
So that was the end of my peaceful day, although I had already been suffering the after-effects of the nightmare of being in prison, again.
I couldn't really get on with anything once I had heard, and no-one would explain to me what had happened, so I emailed the diocese, which always puts me at risk of beatings and detentions, and then I went out, I ended up sitting on the wall as my bowling group started gathering, and they decided to drag me along even though I didn't feel like playing, someone else didn't want to play, so we went round doing photography instead.
When I got home, I was shattered and distressed, so I went to bed, and slept until this evening, sadly the dreams wont stop, and I dreamed of Jane Fisher, she was being all nice and frothy in the dream and no amount of froth changed my feelings or the damage she has done, and in the dream, the Scott-Joynts came along and tried to tell me (as they did in real life) that she had only ever helped me and that she was nice.
I was screaming mad in the dream and relieved to wake up.
I wish the dreams would stop, I wish this hell would stop coming back to me.
I have been watching movies on the laptop, and I may go back to bed soon.
Bank Holiday Monday Morning
I slept again eventually last night.
But I have just woken from the most terrible nightmare to the most glorious bank holiday day, the sun is out and everything is beautiful and the birds are singing, and it is so quiet and peaceful.
The dreams were horrifying.
I dreamed that I was back in Jersey, trapped at the hands of the corrupt police-church-states, where there is no clear boundary between the roles of one or the other, and they had me put away, they couldn't think of any crime so they tried to say mental illness. So I was in prison.
It was so very vivid, from the cliffs to a prison officer snorting coke to the daughter of one of the church-states-judiciary jeering at me.
I do not know why I am having these terrible dreams, whether I am just reliving the horror or what, but I get scared of such dreams because I can have prophetic dreams.
I recently had a prophetic dream coming true, one that I had in Jersey, years ago in Jersey, I dreamed I was talking to a nice safe man on a cliff top, and I told him I had lived in Jersey, now recently that dream came true, and a lot of my dreams like that seem random but they can come true.
I have no intention of going to Jersey, I mean, why would any refugee return to a dictatorship when they can choose to live in a democracy?
But I have just woken from the most terrible nightmare to the most glorious bank holiday day, the sun is out and everything is beautiful and the birds are singing, and it is so quiet and peaceful.
The dreams were horrifying.
I dreamed that I was back in Jersey, trapped at the hands of the corrupt police-church-states, where there is no clear boundary between the roles of one or the other, and they had me put away, they couldn't think of any crime so they tried to say mental illness. So I was in prison.
It was so very vivid, from the cliffs to a prison officer snorting coke to the daughter of one of the church-states-judiciary jeering at me.
I do not know why I am having these terrible dreams, whether I am just reliving the horror or what, but I get scared of such dreams because I can have prophetic dreams.
I recently had a prophetic dream coming true, one that I had in Jersey, years ago in Jersey, I dreamed I was talking to a nice safe man on a cliff top, and I told him I had lived in Jersey, now recently that dream came true, and a lot of my dreams like that seem random but they can come true.
I have no intention of going to Jersey, I mean, why would any refugee return to a dictatorship when they can choose to live in a democracy?
Sunday, 4 May 2014
Sunday Night - nightmares
Well I went to bed early due to being tired, it is always a bad idea to go to bed too early.
I dreamed, nightmare.
I dreamed I was with some people and they seemed nice enough, then we got to my old home, and they said 'do you know this place?' 'Did you live here?'
And I didn't answer, because I realised I was trapped.
I knew they were CofE, and I knew they had bad intentions but they were being all nice and soft soap, all kind and caring, and I could see through it, so I didn't answer.
They took me into a building, and by then I was trying to escape.
They turned nasty, and I was desparate to get a witness, knowing the record they had got me already and that I didn't stand a chance, so as I fled, I got my phone out and tried to find someone to phone so someone could hear what was happening.
As I got to the door, knowing that these CofE were going to wrong me with false witness again, as they did in real life, people gathered, curious, like they did when I fled from Fisher and Scott-Joynt's friend in Winchester, and I begged one of them to stay with me as a witness, but she seemed scared, and instead, a big crowd gathered round the CofE people who were chasing after me, to hear their side.
I woke up at that point!
It is amazing how detailed dreams can be! And how that dream showed up the injustice of the past in just a few minutes of dream.
At least I hope it is the past.
And it is now late and I hope I can sleep again. Peacefully. I am not liking this spate of nightmares about the CofE, it really upsets me.
I dreamed, nightmare.
I dreamed I was with some people and they seemed nice enough, then we got to my old home, and they said 'do you know this place?' 'Did you live here?'
And I didn't answer, because I realised I was trapped.
I knew they were CofE, and I knew they had bad intentions but they were being all nice and soft soap, all kind and caring, and I could see through it, so I didn't answer.
They took me into a building, and by then I was trying to escape.
They turned nasty, and I was desparate to get a witness, knowing the record they had got me already and that I didn't stand a chance, so as I fled, I got my phone out and tried to find someone to phone so someone could hear what was happening.
As I got to the door, knowing that these CofE were going to wrong me with false witness again, as they did in real life, people gathered, curious, like they did when I fled from Fisher and Scott-Joynt's friend in Winchester, and I begged one of them to stay with me as a witness, but she seemed scared, and instead, a big crowd gathered round the CofE people who were chasing after me, to hear their side.
I woke up at that point!
It is amazing how detailed dreams can be! And how that dream showed up the injustice of the past in just a few minutes of dream.
At least I hope it is the past.
And it is now late and I hope I can sleep again. Peacefully. I am not liking this spate of nightmares about the CofE, it really upsets me.
Sunday Evening
Good evening,
Earlier I went for my walk, I got diverted by some of the bowling lot, who wanted me to go and see a new bowling green, I went along, had a cuppa, and continued my walk after a while, I am not keen on bowling really, it causes flashbacks, which I will share on the other blog at some point.
Anyway, I came home and tidied up a bit, and headed for church celebration service and meal, we had a lovely time.
Came home, tired, sitting here thinking of an early night.
Earlier I went for my walk, I got diverted by some of the bowling lot, who wanted me to go and see a new bowling green, I went along, had a cuppa, and continued my walk after a while, I am not keen on bowling really, it causes flashbacks, which I will share on the other blog at some point.
Anyway, I came home and tidied up a bit, and headed for church celebration service and meal, we had a lovely time.
Came home, tired, sitting here thinking of an early night.
Sunday lunchtime
Good lunchtime,
No roast dinner today, I am grazing on snacks from the kitchen but there is a meal or buffet at church later.
I had a bath and am clothed and almost in my right mind, the flashbacks and terrors of the diocese are overwhelming me a bit, the flashbacks have been in a steady stream since I woke from the nightmare this morning.
I will have a quick walk now that I can just about cope with people, and then I will go to church this afternoon.
No roast dinner today, I am grazing on snacks from the kitchen but there is a meal or buffet at church later.
I had a bath and am clothed and almost in my right mind, the flashbacks and terrors of the diocese are overwhelming me a bit, the flashbacks have been in a steady stream since I woke from the nightmare this morning.
I will have a quick walk now that I can just about cope with people, and then I will go to church this afternoon.
Sunday Morning
Good morning,
Well I slept and I dreamed that Fisher had me flung in prison again, Stuart Syvret was in the prison and we were resigned to the fact that the wrongdoers would keep putting us away rather than taking responsibility for themselves.
I woke up into flashbacks of Fisher's malice and deceit, especially in Sussex, not good, the cold horror of it, and the fact she would happily wipe out my new life, put me away and do a report like Korris that pretends it is all someone else and violate me bysending some airheaded idiot of a chaplain to violate me when I ask for a real chaplain like I did in LaMoye, where I specifically asked for a Mathodist or Catholic Chaplain and instead, Fisher was able to override that and send some airhead CofE idiot who SHE wanted to see me. How absolutely sick.
I can never really recover from Fisher, and she is free to continue to violate and injure me despite my complaints.
I am tired and cranky, as I usually am when I have been away, I am on painkillers and I am just tired and need to rest and drift.
My candle has run out and I am out of money for a few days, although I have food and plenty of engredients to make tea.
Outdoors is a nice day, eventually when I can bear to be near people, I will have a short walk, and church isn't until this afternoon.
Well I slept and I dreamed that Fisher had me flung in prison again, Stuart Syvret was in the prison and we were resigned to the fact that the wrongdoers would keep putting us away rather than taking responsibility for themselves.
I woke up into flashbacks of Fisher's malice and deceit, especially in Sussex, not good, the cold horror of it, and the fact she would happily wipe out my new life, put me away and do a report like Korris that pretends it is all someone else and violate me bysending some airheaded idiot of a chaplain to violate me when I ask for a real chaplain like I did in LaMoye, where I specifically asked for a Mathodist or Catholic Chaplain and instead, Fisher was able to override that and send some airhead CofE idiot who SHE wanted to see me. How absolutely sick.
I can never really recover from Fisher, and she is free to continue to violate and injure me despite my complaints.
I am tired and cranky, as I usually am when I have been away, I am on painkillers and I am just tired and need to rest and drift.
My candle has run out and I am out of money for a few days, although I have food and plenty of engredients to make tea.
Outdoors is a nice day, eventually when I can bear to be near people, I will have a short walk, and church isn't until this afternoon.
Saturday, 3 May 2014
Saturday Night
Well I had an amazingly speedy and peaceful (for a Saturday night) journey home, all the connections were swift and smooth and I was mainly untroubled by drunk people and noise.
I arrived home expecting to creep in in order to not disturb anyone, but everyone is still up, but quiet.
I have a lazy few days ahead and will be parking in bed and snoozing busily in a minute, with no rush to get up in the morning.
I arrived home expecting to creep in in order to not disturb anyone, but everyone is still up, but quiet.
I have a lazy few days ahead and will be parking in bed and snoozing busily in a minute, with no rush to get up in the morning.
Saturday Night
Good evening,
I am on my way home, it has been a wonderful day.
I mean, I have been having a wonderful time recently, and it worries me a little bit, because in the past, when things started feeling a bit better, the church would hurt me again.
I hope that after a lifetime of struggle, things are simply looking up at last.
When I was taking photos, everyone got involved, and some of the others also started getting photos, and it turned into quite an event, with lots of laughter as well.
We had delicious food and the sun shone and we were all outside a lot, sprawled on the benches, chatting and laughing.
My friends were really pleased with how well I can now cope with people, hard work, therapy and time seems to have changed me from the feral person they all first met years ago now, in my early days on the streets, when the diocese were such a monster, destroying my whole life, as they may again, these friends were not taken by the diocese despite their best efforts, and here we are, with hope, and with the continued threat of the diocese.
I hope to be home by midnight, I am tired but wide awake and I will get home safe.
My friends did me a snack parcel and they gave me new towels for my new flat, and a lovely bracelet and things.
Ah, I have to change at the connection now, for two more journeys, goodnight peeps.
I am on my way home, it has been a wonderful day.
I mean, I have been having a wonderful time recently, and it worries me a little bit, because in the past, when things started feeling a bit better, the church would hurt me again.
I hope that after a lifetime of struggle, things are simply looking up at last.
When I was taking photos, everyone got involved, and some of the others also started getting photos, and it turned into quite an event, with lots of laughter as well.
We had delicious food and the sun shone and we were all outside a lot, sprawled on the benches, chatting and laughing.
My friends were really pleased with how well I can now cope with people, hard work, therapy and time seems to have changed me from the feral person they all first met years ago now, in my early days on the streets, when the diocese were such a monster, destroying my whole life, as they may again, these friends were not taken by the diocese despite their best efforts, and here we are, with hope, and with the continued threat of the diocese.
I hope to be home by midnight, I am tired but wide awake and I will get home safe.
My friends did me a snack parcel and they gave me new towels for my new flat, and a lovely bracelet and things.
Ah, I have to change at the connection now, for two more journeys, goodnight peeps.
Saturday Afternoon
Well this is unusual,
I am sitting in the car, using my laptop.
We have had a lovely day, and I have got loads of photos of the gang, because I wont see them until the Autumn now, and I want a collage of photos for my flat, taking the good with me into the future.
It has been a glorious day, starting with the sunrise which I got photos of, and we had a lovely drive and a lovely day, and tonight I hope to be home by midnight.
Then tomorrow there is no church in the morning, so I can relax, and then there is a church event in the afternoon.
I have managed to get some work done on my manuscript this morning before we set out.
I am sitting in the car, using my laptop.
We have had a lovely day, and I have got loads of photos of the gang, because I wont see them until the Autumn now, and I want a collage of photos for my flat, taking the good with me into the future.
It has been a glorious day, starting with the sunrise which I got photos of, and we had a lovely drive and a lovely day, and tonight I hope to be home by midnight.
Then tomorrow there is no church in the morning, so I can relax, and then there is a church event in the afternoon.
I have managed to get some work done on my manuscript this morning before we set out.
Saturday Morning
Well I am up, I slept well,which is unusual when I am in a different place.
I dreamed a lot, mainly of my home, which is fine, and I woke at 5.45 and got a cuppa, washed and took pictures of the sunrise.
It is a clear sunny day here.
We are going at 8am, so I think I have time to get a bit of manuscript done.
If you are ever thinking of publishing anything, the preparation of a manuscript can be hard work.
I dreamed a lot, mainly of my home, which is fine, and I woke at 5.45 and got a cuppa, washed and took pictures of the sunrise.
It is a clear sunny day here.
We are going at 8am, so I think I have time to get a bit of manuscript done.
If you are ever thinking of publishing anything, the preparation of a manuscript can be hard work.
Friday, 2 May 2014
friday night
Good evening,
I am at my friends' house, technically I have gone to bed but reality is that I was worried about glitches on the blog and have stayed up to copy, mirror and save the blogs.
We had supper and talked and looked at my photos, and I need to sleep as we have an early start, but I am always a bit anxious away from home.
My friend showed me an article about Asperger Syndrome, that I may use in future blogs on the other blog.
I am at my friends' house, technically I have gone to bed but reality is that I was worried about glitches on the blog and have stayed up to copy, mirror and save the blogs.
We had supper and talked and looked at my photos, and I need to sleep as we have an early start, but I am always a bit anxious away from home.
My friend showed me an article about Asperger Syndrome, that I may use in future blogs on the other blog.
Friday Evening
Good evening,
Well I went to town earlier and did my various tasks, one turned out complex, and the other simple.
I got home, did chilli and rice for lunch, had a bath, put the flat in order, packed a bag, and headed off.
I arrived here not long ago, and am sitting doing some work while I wait to meet my friends in an hour.
I will be offline a lot this weekend as I will be having time out with my friends.
Well I went to town earlier and did my various tasks, one turned out complex, and the other simple.
I got home, did chilli and rice for lunch, had a bath, put the flat in order, packed a bag, and headed off.
I arrived here not long ago, and am sitting doing some work while I wait to meet my friends in an hour.
I will be offline a lot this weekend as I will be having time out with my friends.
Friday Morning
Good morning,
I slept, and my alarms were due to go off at 6am but I woke at 5am feeling tired, went to the loo, turned the alarms off and slept until 9am!
I dreamed a lot, during the night and when I went back to sleep.
I dreamed during the night that I was on a train in Ireland, the man at the station wasn't very nice, and then the people at the station were nice and I got another train and people were eating chips in a kind of batter, and ham.
Then there were steam trains and there was an autistic boy who came to see the Thomas the Tank Engine steam train and he thought he wouldn't be allowed because he had had a meltdown.
Then I dreamed a strange and sad dream about a group of people and I was with them but wasn't really part of the group but they allowed me because one of my old friends who the diocese ripped from me had died and I was grieving, but one of the group objected and was quite rude about me, and I was going to speak to him about it when I woke up.
I am sitting drinking my tea, I meant to get up early and get into town to get things done early before coming back and packing my bag to go to my friends' house to stay over, but here I am. I will head for town soon.
I slept, and my alarms were due to go off at 6am but I woke at 5am feeling tired, went to the loo, turned the alarms off and slept until 9am!
I dreamed a lot, during the night and when I went back to sleep.
I dreamed during the night that I was on a train in Ireland, the man at the station wasn't very nice, and then the people at the station were nice and I got another train and people were eating chips in a kind of batter, and ham.
Then there were steam trains and there was an autistic boy who came to see the Thomas the Tank Engine steam train and he thought he wouldn't be allowed because he had had a meltdown.
Then I dreamed a strange and sad dream about a group of people and I was with them but wasn't really part of the group but they allowed me because one of my old friends who the diocese ripped from me had died and I was grieving, but one of the group objected and was quite rude about me, and I was going to speak to him about it when I woke up.
I am sitting drinking my tea, I meant to get up early and get into town to get things done early before coming back and packing my bag to go to my friends' house to stay over, but here I am. I will head for town soon.
Thursday, 1 May 2014
Thursday Evening
Good evening,
Well I paid a flying visit to the drop-in centre and then a flying visit to the supermarket, and then I went to lunch and quiz at my little old church.
They made me welcome but I let them down, because usually I know some quiz answers and today I only knew a few.
But I was invited to an event on Sunday afternoon anyway, so that will be nice.
I had a lovely lunch.
The traffic was awful up there because of road, but I got home this afternoon and have been working hard at editing my manuscript, and also working hard at housework and paperwork.
I am away on a stayover with my friends tomorrow after I have done my necessary paperwork and beauracricy in town, so I want everything in order, so I can have a complete break before returning to the grind on Monday.
I have stopped for a break and been for a walk though.
Well I paid a flying visit to the drop-in centre and then a flying visit to the supermarket, and then I went to lunch and quiz at my little old church.
They made me welcome but I let them down, because usually I know some quiz answers and today I only knew a few.
But I was invited to an event on Sunday afternoon anyway, so that will be nice.
I had a lovely lunch.
The traffic was awful up there because of road, but I got home this afternoon and have been working hard at editing my manuscript, and also working hard at housework and paperwork.
I am away on a stayover with my friends tomorrow after I have done my necessary paperwork and beauracricy in town, so I want everything in order, so I can have a complete break before returning to the grind on Monday.
I have stopped for a break and been for a walk though.
Thursday Morning
Good Morning,
Well I slept reasonably well, although the dreams were painful, and I woke lazily and fell out of bed and into my routine, I am all washed and the house is presentable, I am just working on manuscript, which is hard work, because it has to be done properly.
I will briefly call in at the drop in and then probably lunch with my church lot, and then shopping, and then back here for things that need doing here and more manuscript work for the rest of the day, and a few movies.
The weather is grey and boring.
Well I slept reasonably well, although the dreams were painful, and I woke lazily and fell out of bed and into my routine, I am all washed and the house is presentable, I am just working on manuscript, which is hard work, because it has to be done properly.
I will briefly call in at the drop in and then probably lunch with my church lot, and then shopping, and then back here for things that need doing here and more manuscript work for the rest of the day, and a few movies.
The weather is grey and boring.
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