This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more:

Friday, 29 March 2013

I suppose I had better try to do a normal update for the moment.

I went to help the gardener chap, I made lots of tea and another lady came to help.
I did weeding and pruning and drank tea and made tea.

Then the gardener chap asked if he could buy me some lunch, so I let him get me some chips.

I wandered off and ate my chips and then was sick and shivery, I think I overdid it with the gardening.
I went to church and sneeked in, and there were my old friends and they put several kettles on and I cuddled the radiator and dozed.

Then I drifted quietly away.
I got a haircut from my pal, who was quiet and gentle, not as chatty as usual, and he let me have my haircut for free, he is lovely.

Then after that was when I found out that the shit who destroyed me had found me and had the police on me.

The shock left me wandering dazed and sick, not knowing where to go or how to cross the roads.

I went back to church, a man there who recognized me started talking cheerfully to me about bedding plants and then realised I was in difficulties and phoned his wife.
His wife gave him the phone number of someone from church who I like, and I phoned her and she came to speak with me and listen and I ranted and cried.
She assured me I was safe in their church, and then the minister came in quietly and told us he was there, and off he went to do this and that, eventually my friend had to go.
The Minister came and sat with me and he talked very gently and soothingly, not so long ago I was furious with him and as ever it was the tip of the iceberg of all the church hurt and it turned into a volcano until his quiet Christianity healed the wound and showed me I was safe with him and his church, and so here he was, sitting with me and talking and then we prepared the church for the last supper communion service.

The service was tough, I kept coughing, and I didn't take communion in case I infected anyone, someone asked me to go up for handwashing with them and I did but I was panicking, and then I was all flashbacks.

After the service I helped the minister to sort the church out for next day and tidy up, his wife made me a cuppa and we talked some more, then the minister gave me a ski-jacket to keep me warm in the cold weather as it continues, then they went home and I went to walk through the big dark night, because it was bank holiday weekend everyone was out revelling and partying so it was like a weekend night, I avoided any vigils in other churches and roamed the night with my headphones in.

I was rather startled when the burger van man tried to chat me up, he said I looked beautiful with my hair done and all smart in new jeans and ski jacket.

It was midnight when I bedded down, 1am when I slept and 4am when I got up again.
I don't seem to need much sleep any more but I was very tense, coughed blood and very upset about what has happened.

4am I roamed the streets, treasure hunting until McD's opened at 6am on a freezing sunny Good Friday morning.
I sat there for a few hours, reading the paper, eating breakfast and drinking tea.

Eventually I had wandered, hobbling badly, all over the place and went to wait for the others, we gathered and my friend walked with me as we did the Good Friday Parade and service.

It was short and sweet and then I had a coffee with my friend and she had to go so I went to sit on the church bench a while.

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