Introduction

This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.

Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP

Monday, 27 August 2012

3.30am, I wasn't sleeping, I was having terrors about the church, so when it started to rain I got up.
I stashed my bedding and walked into town, it was about 4am by the time I got into town, McD's was full of drunken all-night revellers but I got a bottle of orange juice and a cup of tea, and went back out into the rain rather than stay in with the revellers.

Thomas was sitting alone on the steps, smoking, he is alone in his porch now his porch mates have moved on, and the rain must be soaking the porch now.

I went down to the lockers and got my things, and sat in the shelter of the bus station to sort my things out, then I went in the toilet and had a thorough wash and took my meds and changed my underwear, socks and teeshirt.

Time is creeping on, 4.30, I walk back to McD's as the rain continues, I get a cup of tea and wait until McD's starts serving breakfast, I get a bagel with philadelphia, 5.15am and it is still dark, good, winter is coming.

I go out and walk in the dark, the rain is easing up, I walk onto the dangerous ground where the addicts prowl, I don't know why, but there is no one, just revellers heading home.

I go and sit on the tram stop and make faces at people on the trams, it is quarter to six and almost light. people and buses are increasing in number.

I get a copy of the free paper and go back to McD's to read it, it has stopped raining.
7am, the free shuttle bus is running and I shutle up and down until the library opens at 8.15am and then I sit and read.

10am, I am supposed to be doing maths and English tests today, this is not a good day to be doing tests as I have been up and out in the rain since 3.30am, but I go ahead anyway.
It is very stressful being in the learning centre, I hate it, I am trapped and crowded, my English is too high a standard for them to teach me, but it is the maths that I want anyway, my maths is not good because of learning difficulties, and that shows on the test, they want me to start maths next week, but there is no way I can cope with the learning environment.

I meet my friend for lunch, we have a jacket potato in a cafe, very nice, the weather is going to get worse so she said I could stay over with them if I could get to them after 11.15pm as they are out until then, God, this is going to be a long long day.

I spent the rest of the day in the library, and then went to the soup run.

Soup run was good, and I got talking to some of the volunteers, they invited me to walk round with the soup run, and they prayed for me as I was in pain.
There was a guy who was drunk and kept getting down on his knees and asking the volunteers to pray for him.

I ended up with FAR too much food, 10 packets of crisps!? they must think I am a bit hungry!
They were very nice to me.

Nearly 9pm and I am so tired that I am afraid that I will fall asleep somewhere, which would not be good, it is Friday night and this town is exceptionally dangerous on weekend nights.

I go and put my food in my locker, then I make my way up to McD's again, my phone is dead and I ask them if I can charge it because otherwise my friend won't know where I am when she comes to meet me at the bus stop.

I sit in McD's, charging my phone because they are kind to me, it is raining again, and the place is full of drinkers and partygoers, not long to go and I will be able to sleep again.

I charge my phone for 25 minutes, it is a cranky old phone, but now I have enough battery.
I go to the bus stop and shelter in a porch as I wait 21 minutes for a bus.
Someone tries to beg bus fare off me, but I have barely enough money for myself and they are obviously not in need.

I get the bus and make my way up to the area where my friend lives, I shelter in a doorway as the rain is torrential and wait for my friend, she comes to get me and we go home and have a cup of tea, and I fall into a deep sleep as soon as I lie down on the floor.

That was a long day.

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