An 'Apology from the Bishop of Winchester'! F*ck that for a joke!

Dear Spammer/Bishop Dakin,

I have received an incongruent and worrying email claiming to be from the Bishop of Winchester and enclosing an 'apology'.

Firstly, the Bishop of Winchester is a deceitful and arrogant man who does not apologize except for show. Secondly this apology, fake or 'real' warns me that the Bishop has or is going to attack or defame me, that is what his original 'apologies' were about, thirdly, an apology is not going to put this right. After the fake apologies that launched the attack on my life that has destroyed me over again, the use of the word 'apology' by the Church of England is a sick joke. They apologize profusely to most vulnerable groups while attacking them

Dakin, remember I took you to court in an effort to save my life? You are not allowed to release any material about me without my consent and agreement, especially not the defamatory whitewash Steel rubbish. Please take this as a re-iteration of my warnings to you and court action against you. You have not given 40 days notice for your whitewash nor discussed it's content, thus you will be facing arrest if you are or have released any lies about me or any MORE BREACHES OF THE DATA PROTECTION ACT! Do you understand me? You are to make a redaction and apology immediately if you have, and if not, do not because I will fight you until my heart fails me. You misrepresent God as something evil and I hate you for that.

You have sent me into traumatic distress at a crucial time, I have my end of year exams at the moment. You stupid stupid wicked man, resign, don't fake apologise, resign. An apology will never undo the damage that you have done, nothing will. 

Further to that, I do not see the email sent as genuine but as  a malicious spam. But if it was from you, I do not accept your apology, I think you are a wicked and deceitful and self-serving liar and I want you to apologize publicly through the press and media you harmed me with and I want you to resign and I want you to MAKE SURE EVERY WRONGDOER IN THE JERSEY AND WINCHESTER MATTER IS DEALT WITH. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND, 'APOLOGIZING'?! WHO THE HELL THOUGHT UP THIS LATEST STUNT?!?!??!?

Also the Bishop made a promise to pay for my accommodation, in 2013, he can send that to my Jersey email paypal, backdated from then until now, along with a million pounds compensation for the horrific defamation and psychological damage. AND HE CAN PUT RIGHT ALL THE HARM HE HAS DONE AND UNTIL THEN HIS APOLOGY IS NOT ACCEPTED, TRY AGAIN WHEN THE CRIMINALS HE SPONSORED TO DESTROY ME PUBLICLY HAVE FACED JUSTICE, EVERY LAST ONE AND THE BISHOP HIMSELF.

I CANNOT BEGIN TO EXPRESS MY FURY AT THIS.

THE BISHOP'S FAKE APOLOGY, WHICH I HAVE NOT OPENED AS IT IS HARASSMENT, IS NOT ACCEPTED AND IS SEEN AS ONLY AN EFFORT TO COUNTER MY RECENT CORRESPONDENCE WITH THE NATIONAL CHILD ABUSE INQUIRY, 10 DOWNING STREET, THE QUEEN AND OTHERS OVER THE CHURCH'S SHAMELESS BEHAVIOUR.

DAKIN, YOU ARE TO DESTROY THE STEEL REPORT AND ALL OTHER LYING WHITEWASHES, YOU ARE TO MAKE A LIST OF EACH AND EVERY PERSON I HAVE BEEN DEFAMED TO BY VIEWINGS OF THE STEEL REPORT AND YOU ARE TO PRESENT IT AT THE COURT WHEN I RETURN YOU TO COURT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, YOU WICKED MAN? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!

RESIGN. THIS IS GOING TO BE PUBLISHED AND SENT TO EVERYONE WHO RECEIVED MY RECENT CORRESPONDENCE.

YOU WICKED MAN, DISRUPTING MY UNIVERSITY AGAIN, YOU WICKED WICKED MAN. I CURSE YOUR TENURE AT WOLVSLEY AND COMMAND IN JESUS NAME THAT YOU LEAVE!

it is very obvious from the massive increase in blog stats that you have or are attacking me through your whitewashes and I am going to take you to court and I am going to force you out of my home town before you KILL another vulnerable person. You have committed crimes and you are to pay for that. You were so eager to have me vilified as a vulnerable adult fighting back, and yet you abuse your power and break the law and get away with it. That is not just and it is not Christian. I do NOT accept your apology. RESIGN. AND BEFORE YOU DO, RECOMPENSE ME AND GIVE ME A VOICE IN THE PRESS AND MEDIA THAT YOU MANIPULATED AGAINST ME! 

(WHAT DOES LUTHER-PENDRAGON ADVISE NOW? A QUICK TRIP TO THE LODGE FOR AN EMERGENCY MEETING?)

Now lets see you do this 'apology' as publicly as your press attacks and lies, and lets see you do this apology with a redaction of the slurs on me in the same press and media and lets see you call an independent inquiry and a public annulment of the Steel report. 

If you can't, then your apology is another lie. 

Make sure I am contacted for a list of people I have a formal complaint against and make sure this time they are dealt with without fear or favour, too much to ask of from the Church of England so call an independent inquiry, you need to be investigated especially for perverting the course of justice, along with Fisher, who merits a lengthy prison sentence for her actions.

This email is CC the National Child abuse Inquiry, 10 Downing Street, Lambeth Palace and all other interested parties.

  

  

HG

Wednesday

Good morning peeps,

Well I dreamed I was homeless again and I was trying to buy clothes in Marks and Spencer but they wouldn't serve me because I was homeless but then they all started being really nice and helpful because someone I knew told them to and he was one of David Cameron's assistants.
In real life the person in question may be quite important but he is not David Cameron's assistant and I am sure that would make him laugh.

I got up this morning to the sound of heavy rain, pouring down. I went and did the papers.
Came home and had a message from the car's best friend with a quote for Florence's younger brother. The Car's best friend wants me to try to put Florence through her MOT but I don't think that would be cost effective, I have been looking through her MOT records and she has failed the last few before retaking and passing after her best friend did the work on her, she is very old now with rust that can't be repaired and she probably needs more work than she is worth.

Well anyway, I can't go gardening today due to the weather and I remain exhausted from the weekend. I go into energy deficit with long journeys and stress like that, relapse. So I am a bit useless.

Winchester, my heart, my home, my heritage

My trip to Winchester appears to have provoked massive leaps in blog stats, no idea why, I was there for North Walls last year without provoking much reaction at all.
I didn't go to Winch to interact with the church although it was funny to joke about them, I went because that is my home town and my memories of Winchester go back long past the evil of the Diocese of Winchester and their vain and arrogant middle class patrons. As you will see, I posted pictures of my dearest favourite walk from when I was a teenager.
My trip to Winchester has no meaning in context of the diocese of winchester, who are based in Alresford anyway, but it seems to have sparked a massive amount of blog views from that silly corporation.
And yes, those who don't recognise the photos of the Bishop drowning in his crypt, look them up on Photopol's Jersey toons blog. It was a joke.

Tuesday

Good morning peeps,

Well it is 3.45am, a time of day that shouldn't even exist. But I was having another unsettled night so I decided to get up rather than have flashbacks and terrors.

It is too warm, I have the window open and it is humid. We have more heavy rain and thunderstorms due today and so I was planning on another quiet day, I am still very tired from Saturday.

Yesterday was a quiet day, I gave the flat a good clean and tidy and worked on my end of term papers and my music.

I also spoke to the Car's Best Friend about Florence and about the car he has, Florence's younger brother, who he said I could have first refusal on when he sells. I am just waiting to hear if they will sell now and how much.

I fell asleep for a few hours yesterday and remained sleepy for the rest of the day. But it doesn't matter because I am getting my work and study done and the flat is clean.

I think this morning I will go down to the sea before doing the papers and later I will catch up on my sleep.

Monday - Liberation Day

Dear idiot from CofE, get off my blog.

Good morning peeps,

A grey start but it may well get better.

Yesterday was a quiet day, a quick car boot sale, some roast dinner, reading and music and films.
I had a bit of a disrupted night, half awake in terrors in the early hours, then too hot, I slept lightly the last few hours of the night but more comfortable and peaceful.
I woke up dreaming I was in a flood, I keep dreaming that but I don't know why and thankfully the bed isn't wet when I dream that.
Anyway, I have done the papers and I am staying here and writing and working on my revision, I am not going to celebrate liberation day because
when they liberated Jersey
they forgot about the States

I may go up to the cliffs if the weather allows.
To be honest I am still tired, so a quiet day of revision, music and flat cleaning and even some resting would be a good plan.

I see I had a visit from an old enemy on this blog yesterday, I wonder why? :):):)

Winchester MayFest

Labrador Sand Sculpture


Mayfest Morris Dancers and maypole dancers at the Cathedral






So many people enjoying the sunshine at Winchester

Winchester 2, my favourite place

My favourite place ever since I was a teenager. I used to walk the dog along here in the evenings.

Winchester 1, Florence's last long journey

We pretended to be tourists:

Look at the ruins of Wolvsely:



Oops, I meant the other ruins of Wolvsley!



We asked the Bishop if he wanted a coffee and a chat about his mental health, but he was a bit busy dealing with a plumbing crisis, a leak. (or as one church put it, 'we have a leek in the pipes so there is no mass today').



This is the Cathedral that Jack built, literally if you know your history. This is a the symbol of my home and heritage and love that the evil of the Diocese of Winchester can never ever take away. My relationship with my home town is still scarred and bleeding from the evil inflicted by Fisher and the Scott-Joynts, but it is still mine forever.


I parked Florence near Wolvsley and told her to fart a lot

Sunday

Good morning peeps,

Well I woke up from dreams about friends and pianos, which are both nice things to dream about, it was grey and drizzly when I got up at 6am, but it is turning into another hot day.
The papers were a bit late at the shop but not very late, so I did my round and came home thinking about how I have a day to do nothing in, that'll be the day! :)

I have a book called 'After Anna' to read and Hollyoaks will be on at 10am.

I haven't updated for a few days, mainly due to revision. So I must tell you about it.

On Friday I was revising well, my timetable of revision was working just fine, and by early evening I was ready to pop to the shop for something for supper and supplies for the journey in the morning before I consolidated my revision.
Unfortunately I witnessed a nasty road accident and I didn't get to the shop.
Flashbacks.
Thankfully my landlady was around to talk me out of the flashbacks. Interestingly the flashbacks seemed to be about the dead man the other year more than the accident I was in in 2009, but it was awful. Thankfully no one is dead this time and the person who suffered the injuries is recovering.

Anyway, the roads were closed and my neighbour would have been coming back from town, and I was worried that he can't walk far and the buses had been diverted away from us, so I went to meet him and found him leaning on a wall, looking a bit stunned. We leaned on walls and sat on walls and got home eventually.
But I couldn't revise, I was too shocked and unsettled and still hadn't got my supper.
When the roads opened, I walked round to the shop and got food and supplies.
I did my best to finish my revision as it was to be an early start in the morning.

Unfortunately the drama wasn't over for me, I picked up my glass of coke off the breakfast bar and the glass somehow just disintegrated, throwing coke over my precious beloved keyboard (music) and my toys on the sofa, grr. I wiped and drained the keyboard and I hope it will be OK, I will be devastated if not, and the toys are all going to need a wash :( I bet that will amuse my mates at the laundry.
But that wasn't the end of the disasters, one of the bay window curtains fell down :( Those curtains are big and high up and hard to put back, it isn't the first time I have put these curtains up, and I have trouble with raising my arms so it is excruciating trying to put these curtains up.

Anyway, so finally, having simply just done the best I could with revision, I went to bed.
I slept and I was dreaming about a baby when I was rudely awakened by the alarms just before 5am, I really didn't feel good about being up so early but never mind. I was OK after a cup of tea. I wonder if all these baby dreams are my hormones or whatever, a lot of childless women start having baby dreams don't they? Well I am not having children because I am too damaged and volatile, I will be a medical miracle and have a kitten instead.

Anyway, so I was up nice and early, everything ready, just a pity that Friday's final revision was so badly disrupted, because last minute revision is my secret weapon. By 6am I was off on the first leg of my journey, I had a break for breakfast at 8am, and then I got stuck in traffic!
I still got there in time but only just, and no time for last minute revising.
I took the exam, it was hard because of the shock of the previous day's road accident and the disrupted revision but I answered the questions.

Then I went on to have a nice day out after the exam.

I got home tired last night and I am still a bit tired.

Friday

Hey peeps,

People are asking where my daily posts are.
Hey, I am revising.

Here is a daily post for the last few days:

papers, revision, food, sunshine, work, the blue bike, the sea, more revision. Sleep :)

One last sleep until the exam.

And Florence is washed, oiled, tyre pressured, watered, windscreen washed. She is ready for tomorrow, her last long journey as far as I know. Each day gets closer to her last day and that makes me sad.
My neighbour saw me washing Florence and decided to wash his car, I never knew that people could copy what I do, and normally I wouldn't recommend it :) But in the case of a car, it is very gregarious and friendly to wash cars together.

Wednesday morning

Good morning peeps,

Life After the Diocese stats are higher than usual at the moment, is my exam revision interesting?
Three more sleeps to exam day.
And then is is assessment season until the end of the month.

Feeling sad at the moment but still revising.

It is another sunny day, and I will be heading for work in about an hour
In the meantime I am just revising again and watching Hollyoaks.
After work I will be revising, and I should wash Florence and do her oil and windscreen and tyres ready for Saturday.

We are doing happy song today instead of music box dancer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dodfOGOev0

Monday morning

Good morning,

Well I did revise all day yesterday, and it made me tired.
I have been through the whole syllabus.
I did have a bike ride along the sunny, breezy seafront, and that was nice.
And I did get some shopping and cook a roast dinner.

I went to bed early and slept.
I dreamed a lot, but the only dream I can remember is the one where there was a big fair down at the beach and there was so much food and goodies and it was a sunny day.

I woke up to a grey and rainy bank holiday, what bad luck for those with a day off.
Funny, isn't it? This bank holiday is the only rainy day, it has been sunny and it will be sunny, the weather for my gardening days this week are roasting hot.

I will be working on the upstairs flat from 10am, hopefully finishing it today. Obviously the weather means indoor work is ideal today, and the social group won't be having their outing to the seafront  in this weather and I don't count bank holidays as holidays so I will just get on with that flat.

I woke really late this morning, nearly 7am, wow how lazy. I must sort the alarms out. Thankfully the papers have no strict deadline like the rural routes used to.
And to make things worse, because my TV is on the old aerial it goes off when we have rain, so I can't watch Hollyoaks. I should sort out a freesat connection at some point. I mean I get all the freeview channels normally but when the weather is bad, the whole lot goes off, no TV.
It's a good thing I am not very addicted to TV, I like to watch a few things, I was watching Liar Liar yesterday as I revised :) Jim Carrey being an idiot.

Anyway, I am just going through a past exam paper with the marking scheme paper.

Wow, the neighbour's cat was just arguing with a crow on our front lawn, The crow was very angry and gathered some friends too, the cat looked a bit embarrassed. It is a pedigree, one of those leopard ones, and I told it that a crow was not an ideal sparring partner, it looked suitably embarrassed and chewed some grass.
I had better arm Bob the Kitten with CS gas and a truncheon when he arrives, he has some tough neighbours.
Bob PS192 Nortykitten.

Have a nice day, peeps.

Sunday

Good morning peeps,

Well yesterday I did a bit of work on the upstairs flat. I was brushing hair out of the carpet, a lot of hair, all you need is a stiff brush and just swirl it round and pull the hair out. Unfortunately the hoover is broken again so I couldn't hoover after that.

Then it was revision time, and I revised until I was falling asleep, and made good progress. Not long now, it makes me short of breath to think of the exam in less than a week, and the day out away from home! :) I am taking Florence with me, so I will be able to pootle around and have a real day out.

Last night I dreamed that there was a big protest at Winchester Cathedral.
Then I dreamed I had moved to the new flat, and I had got Bob the Kitten, and I called Bob and he came running, but then he turned into a fly and started buzzing round the kitchen. I hope he doesn't decide to do that in real life, it will be expensive enough supplying him with notebooks and police hats.
At the moment we have no kittens for sale in the district, but I shouldn't rush into finding Bob, I need to move and also get my exams done before I think about the kitten.
Interestingly the Bob the kitten in the dream wasn't pure black, he was black and white or grey and white. No way I can afford a grey cat, they are rare, expensive, usually with at least some blue blood. Kittens are more expensive these days anyway. I will have to ask that lady from when I was delivery driving in town, see if her cat has been busy reproducing again.

Anyway, this morning I had an extra round to do as well as mine, the boss wants me to put the phone on dashcam for my round so if that guy who run me off the road does anything more he will go round and have words. Sometimes some men just think lone women can be bullied, but in quiet lanes like ours there is no need whatsoever to force someone into a wall, none. Florence got off lightly with a scraped wing mirror but it shouldn't happen.

Anyway, it is a sunny day and due to be hot, so I went down to the sea after the papers. The sea is
calm and smooth, reflecting the sunlight and the cliffs.
I am due to revise all day but I will watch Hollyoaks while revising, and I will nip to the shop for cleaning stuff for the flat, I will also clean my flat briefly, and probably have a bike ride after lunch and maybe an ice cream.

Saturday

Good lunchtime peeps,

Well here I am all in a lunch mood. Turkey steak, lightly grilled.

Yesterday had some more unexpected turns.

I was working on the upstairs flat here, and my landlady was working on the downstairs flat, as she had a tenant due to move in on Sunday.

At lunchtime I came downstairs for lunch, and the electricity was about to be switched off so I scurried to cook my meal first.
The electric wasn't off for long.
But then my landlady tapped on the door and came in looking serious, which worried me.
But it turned out that the prospective tenant for the ground floor flat has backed out.
So my landlady has offered me first refusal.

She has left the flat open for me to view, measure up and check the tv point, the tv point works just fine.
And the place has a catflap.
If I had known what a nice flat it is, I would have taken it before, but because my landlady said she thought it was smaller, and I didn't view it last time, I decided that the move wasn't worth the hassle.
But looking at it now, it has old fashioned shelves and beams and fireplace, which is all good because I am not allowed to hang things on the walls in this more modern flat so my pictures are jostling for shelf space.

The flat downstairs has a smaller bathroom than this one which has a full size bathroom, but the one downstairs has a full,kitchen with plenty of cupboards and space for a table. And the kitchen has a full oven and a fridge freezer, at the moment I have no freezer and only a counter-top oven.
And as well as it's own entrance, the downstairs flat has it's own parking, although I am not sure how I am going to afford to replace Florence when her MOT runs out in 6 weeks or so.  She has scrambled through her last few MOTs, there is no way she will pass the next one.

Moving flats is a big step, even just from this flat to downstairs, but it seems that all the long term residents here started out upstairs and moved downstairs.
So, a week before the exam and my mind is on moving house, no way el-ray.

So, after work yesterday, I was tiredly trotting through revision until bed time.
Then I slept and dreamed peaceful comforting dreams.
I dreamed I was in a happy peaceful place, a bit like a big school, and there was so much food and everyone was content. I realised I was in paradise.
Then I dreamed, just as peacefully, that I was on my way to work and instead of going via the next town, I ended up going via Winchester, and I thought that was a bit of a diversion.

I woke up and went to do the papers.
I was surprised when I got to the shop. Because the ladies there had heard about me being nearly run into the wall by someone yesterday and they were quite cross about it, and they said the manager wanted to know if he should contact the police for me and if I wanted him to come out and make sure the aggressor was dealt with - the aggressor being a local who isn't very nice.
But I said it was all OK, I was just a bit rattled about it yesterday.

Anyway, I came home with time for breakfast and a shower before going out gardening.
But I got a bit diverted and ended up in a right rush in the end.

I got to the house I was working at, the client was out but they had left everything unlocked for me.
So I got on with my work in the peaceful sunshine.
Then I went and had a good music lesson.
Then I came home for lunch.
And in half and hour I will go and do a few more hours of work on the flat upstairs.

My neighbour collected my parcel off the postman for me while I was out, he is a very handy neighbour, I have several handy neighbours.
And before long I was have a kitten called Bob, which will wander around with a notebook and pen and ask who was at the scene at the time.

Kittens are little furry things with lots of paws all equipped with sharp needles. They have endless battery life and never run out of things to shred.

Friday

Morning peeps,

Papers done.

Well yesterday I met with this support worker, his fees were much higher than my friend had anticipated, and he is based in the town 8 miles away and is limited to what he can do, he suggested that I went through the council to get 'free support' but unfortunately I know that doesn't work.

 I tried several times to get the council's support but they lost the referral, lost the paperwork, didn't make contact and even when they do work out that they have a referral, the waiting list is months, they left my epileptic friend without support when he needed help restoring his ESA when it was unfairly removed, the DWP tried to declare him fit for work when he can have a major fit at any time and they are frequent. So the DWP and council failed him,

So that is a summary of how effective the DWP and council are in helping people, So there is no way I would try that again.
So, I have had a number of responses to my advert for support and one is a local independent support worker who may be able to help, so I will contact her today.

In the UK, systems are stretched to their limits and locally we are worse off than most, there is very little support for the vulnerable and it is decreasing. Our local NHS, social services and council are cutting services and the volunteer section is sparse and decreasing as well.

That reminds me of a troll on twitter last night trying to call me a liar over that, trolls are funny but it is frustrating when they try to tell you that you are a liar and that there is help available in your area.
This particular troll was remarkable because it was shouting about genocide and how the NHS had tried to kill it, and then telling me the NHS are great and that I have access to the NHS and help and how it used to be a volunteer in victim support and thus it knew I could access help, then it started ranting at me. I don't think victim support employs people like that.
Trolls are sparse these days because may be vulnerable enough to be led into their stupid insults but I can hold my own when they attack. Twitter is a circus though, you can be attacked when you feel vulnerable, but no-one on twitter has met you or knows your story so their attacks are irrelevant.

I had a troll one time calling me a crank, unprovoked, and then when I blocked them, they apparently wanted me to unblock them 'because they had made a mistake and thought I was someone else' or so I was told.
 Light entertainment, does anyone watch Angie Tribeca? Hilarious, dumb. I don't usually have the tv on that late.

On the good side, twitter was brilliant last night.  I slept better than I have for a long time.

Yesterday I had a study breakfast and realised how much revision I have to do! :)
My landlady wanted an invoice for the week's work on the flat, and she paid straight away, so that was good, I have already put my rent through for next month and arranged my travel to the exam next week.
In the afternoon I went and did a garden. And that was good. It was warm weather and I mowed and weeded and watered.

Then I came home with revision in mind but never got that far, I went to the shop, watched Hollyoaks and ended up talking to some people because of twitter posts and that was incredibly helpful.
My writing about Bob on the other blog also helped me, fractured as it is. Maybe it is more for me than for the general public.

This morning I woke up feeling better.
I went to do the papers, including the local papers, but some idiot tried to force me into a wall on the paper round, which was not nice.
I got my local paper and was home by 7.10am. I am just going to watch Hollyoaks and read the paper.

Today I need to get my music practice and then I am back to work on this flat clearing by 10.30.
Tomorrow I have a music lesson and probably some work as well.
On Sunday I think I had better revise all day. I am so busy that I am not getting all my material revised.

It is a cold and cloudy day.

God does his washing properly

Thursday

Good morning,

Well yesterday I had to stay at home and be quiet, which was frustrating, but loss of balance is no laughing matter, you can't mow lawns if you fall over.

It was a miserable day.

Last night I slept a lot and dreamed, I dreamed there was a cricket match and I felt I had to watch it on Bob's behalf if he couldn't watch it.
Then I dreamed that the laughing jeering archbishop of canterbury was at my adoptive parents house, spouting rubbish and lies and my adoptive parents couldn't understand why I was so angry, in the end the archbishop said that he thought I would like it if he dropped dead, and I said I would like that with all my heart.

I was glad to wake up, another sunny start, papers, Hollyoaks, depression, meeting a support worker later and gardening this afternoon.

Wednesday

Good morning peeps,

I had a restless night and woke more ill today. I am having balance problems today.
It looks like middle ear disorder or something. What rotten luck, there is no way I can do gardens today if I could fall and hurt myself.
I feel cold as well. I don't want to be sick, I have a lot of work to do, but I guess I stress about my work more than anyone else.
I have cancelled this morning's garden, and will cancel the other one later, I think rain will cancel the other one, that way I won't look like a sciver.
I feel useless being ill like this. I need the money I would have earned.

I guess I had better study if I am going to be home today.