A Pastoral Letter to Justin Welby

This first link is from another victim, then the main post is my letter

https://cathyfox.wordpress.com/2018/03/25/survivors-reply-to-archbishops-pastoral-letter/

To Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury regarding his continued use of abuse in the press and media.

 CC IICSA, SCIE, Bishops, Police, Victims Commissioner, the BBC and others. 26/03/2018

Dear Justin Welby,

First and foremost, you need to read all of this letter because it contains an initial warning of legal action against you, and your powerful and Godless lawyers won't be able to stop or prevent this as you are evidenced in the press and media to be knowingly breaking the law, causing harm and danger to the vulnerable, and aiding and upholding others in doing the same. Some say your PR stunts to do with abuse occur when you are contacted about my case and others and reminded of your criminal negligence and cover-ups.

Enough is enough. Enough was enough years ago when you publicly destroyed a vulnerable adult with the help of the unquestioning and complicit press and media in order to cover up the church's wrongdoings at the expense of the victim's life. To put out a pastoral letter that appears to jeer at victims giving evidence to the IICSA, after the IICSA have been asked to stop you from using abuse as a PR campaign during their inquiry, is the ultimate contempt, and again reinforces the image that you feel that the IICSA will protect you and your church as well as your callous disregard for victims' feelings. From the IICSA's part, they are allowing the image that you are going to go on being an unregulated and abusive organization, as they don't appear to have effectively restrained you.

Let me just scenario that. Imagine that you are a victim. You are struggling with life because you have been raped or buggered by clergy and laity in the church, and as a result you cannot have faith in God. You are going through a tough time as you finally hope to see justice through giving evidence to the IICSA. And you then see the organization who have not only abused you but treated you appallingly when you have asked them for justice, using the press and media for limelight over their 'prayers' for you. You will be disgusted.

As every victim knows, prayers from their abusers and the organization which abused them, doesn't un-abuse them, doesn't un-rape or un-bugger them, doesn't in fact make any difference, as I can assure you myself. Do you know what your prayers look like to an abuse victim? They look like you and your church live in another world, where you have no understanding whatsoever of the impact of your continued psychopathic lack of understanding of abuse and safeguarding.

You and yours 'prayed' for me publicly as you acted in great evil to destroy and nearly kill me. Believe me your prayers are an abomination, and if God exists, He will spit on you before sending you to hell, all you have achieved is cutting me off from God and leaving me suffering living death and unremitting anguish, day and night, so tell me, does God not hear your prayers? Or are your prayers just a worthless show from a bunch of dangerous over-powerful hypocrites? As I am sure you know, some church victims endured clergy saying prayers before or after they raped them.

What about my prayers for justice and for your silencing and removal, and for the same for those named below? Does God hear me? Does He hear me as I go on and on asking for you to be silent and be removed, and for the church to be held to account for their evil in my case? While I suffer and you and those involved aren't held to account, I see prayers as useless and your use of prayers that was as re-abuse.

As a victim, seeing this continued and relentless showing off at victims' expense while continuing to refuse to act upon abuse and wrongdoing you will feel that not only are the church confident of influencing the IICSA in making sure the church are seen in a good light over their abuse, but that they are jeering. Jeering that no matter how much the church are asked to stop using abuse as a PR stunt, no matter how much the church are told that while they don't safeguard and while they treat victims badly, they shouldn't be boasting, they intend to ignore the pleas of victims and requests to the IICSA for the boasting to stop, the Church of England intend to go on being callous and cruel and jeering and using abuse and victims to boast and glorify themselves.

Certainly the IICSA's behaviour in my case, in enabling the church to leave me homeless with the help of the police in the horrific Amberstone attack which left me homeless to this day, taking my new identity and community and ruining me, does cast doubts on the IICSA's investigation of church abuse. The IICSA didn't show neutrality or impartiality in subjecting me to that additional damage after your attempt on my life by destroying me publicly.

Your behaviour is so crass and callous, especially as I and other victims have asked you repeatedly to stop behaving like this, to stop using abuse to glorify yourself and show your contempt for victims.

I am the victim who you personally left for dead and left suffering unremitting and unbearable anguish. And each time you and Peter Hancock use abuse as a boast or a PR stunt as you do, you destroy me again, and you leave me unable to earn my hand-to-mouth living, so you leave me without food. You and Peter Hancock uphold the wrongdoers in my case, and thus you should both have resigned by now, neither of you are in a position to use safeguarding or abuse as a boast. Neither of you have the courage to contact me about my complaints, so safeguarding or even human decency are two things you don't understand.

Most people would have committed suicide over your and Bishop Tim Dakin's shocking and disgraceful launch of my case into the press with my side unrecorded and unheard, and three years use of my case in the press to destroy and discredit me while glorifying the church and making the matter to be about safeguarding while ignoring me and my anguish and the damage I suffered as a result of the public hate you triggered, the beatings and rapes I suffered as a result of you making me into a figure of public hatred are unhealable.

Three years of clergy and laity openly behaving like animals and certainly not Christians, to destroy a vulnerable adult publicly without any relief or mercy. Three years in which many many members of the church behaved in ways that would leave them without jobs if they were working for any decent organization. The Church of England is neither decent nor Christian, and is running on falsehoods and abusing power that it shouldn't have. The Church of England has proven what a danger it is to the public and the vulnerable while it is unregulated and above the law. And your massive use of abuse as PR while nothing has improved in safeguarding and you have been part of a massive safeguarding failure that nearly killed and has left destroyed, a vulnerable adult who was abused by serial abusers in your church.

If it was about safeguarding, why did you launch the matter into the press so that I was attacked and threatened and still am being, and am living as a fugitive? If it was about safeguarding, why did I have to take Bishop Tim Dakin to court to stop him from killing me with attacks on my character, and if it was about safeguarding, why is Tim Dakin still in his position after I took him to court?

If it was about safeguarding, why did you allow four whitewash reports by conflicted individuals and bodies to continue and be used to destroy me? Why did you fail to answer any of my concerns at any time, and only meet with the power and criminally behaved dignitaries involved in the public destruction of me? Why are you still insulting abuse victims after behaving like this? You still do not have effective safeguarding, and you still treat victims appallingly, I can only assume from your continued psychopathic and callous behaviour in using victims for PR, that you are mentally ill and in need of retiring from your position to seek help before you do any more harm.

You and your safeguarding team, or so called, and Bishops and staff, have behaved appallingly, and some of them should not still be in their positions. You have received numerous complaints and will continue to do so, as you continue to ignore the complaints.

Take the time to act upon the complaints made rather than showing how you can abuse the press and media on silly, badly produced articles and 'pastoral letters' created to glorify you and your dangerous corporation. And get some advice on what a pastoral letter is, a pastoral letter isn't supposed to be a PR stunt or a way of misleading people, do you remember Tim Dakin using his pastoral letter to lie about my case and mislead clergy at my expense?

Why is Tim Dakin still in office? He was happy to kill me to cover up his wrongdoing, he is the evidence that you don't, won't and can't safeguard and have no regard for the lives or welfare of victims. You and he have never responded to my concerns and you allowed conflicted hate attacks on me and called them reports, and have not recorded or investigated my case, so how can you either safeguard or care about abuse victims? You took the side of, and publicly upheld the wrongdoers in my case, without meeting me or communicating with me.

Remember, nothing has been done about the million pound Jersey and Winchester whitewash that was used to cover up for the church and destroy me, and there has been no recording of what has happened to me, what I have experienced, and thus nothing has been done about the wrongdoing of those involved.

Do you recall you and Peter Hancock publicly upholding the Key wrongdoers in my case, and telling the world through the press and media that those people were to work for you in evangelical positions, that needs to be investigated, and until it has been, indeed until the whole adult lifetime of the church abusing me, especially your three year public discrediting of me and criminal actions and conflicted whitewash of my case has been investigated, you are in no position to go on and on callously and psychopathically boasting, not that victims will ever want to be shocked by your lies about caring and safeguarding. But save the boasting until your personally led million pound public attempt on the life of a vulnerable adult, leaving her living dead and without justice, a voice or any closure, has been investigated by an independent (look it up!) review.

Make sure the following people are investigated independently over my case, and this is an exhaustive list: Yourself, Peter Hancock, Paul Butler, John Sentamu, Daphne Green, the Diocese of York, Paul Butler and the Diocese of Durham, the Jersey and Guernsey, Winchester, Andover and Romsey Deaneries, Tim Dakin, Jackie Rowlands, John Gladwin, Christine Daly, Trevor Willmott, Sheila Rooke, Elaine Rose, Graham Tilby, Jane Dodds, Moira Murray, Caroline Venables.

In addition, you are responsible for making sure the criminal and dangerous behaviour of the press and media, States of Jersey, Jersey Safeguarding Partnership, Jersey's judiciary, and police, and all complicit authorities and all that failed to act, are investigated. The whole matter is your responsibility, and for two years since you and Tim Dakin attempted on my life, you have ignored my letters and emails, put the phone down on me, and instructed your clergy, laity, safeguarding team and anyone connected to the church, to do the same. Make sure the Church Times spreading of hatred and lies about me is made particularly prominent in the investigation.

Remember, this is an exhaustive list, and this is going to be a big investigation, but you had a million pounds in spare change to throw away on having me publicly destroyed and killed, you had a million pounds to allow a lot of conflicted people to break the law, illegally access records, publicly destroy a vulnerable adult, and act in criminal and harmful ways, you had a million pounds to leave me living as a terrified fugitive with no access to medical help or the protection, support or justice that the police, social services, justice and other agencies should offer, because you and your church destroyed and defamed me. So you must have the ten  million or so to investigate my case in its entirety, including your own massive criminal abuse of power and cowardice in failing to answer me and my requests for justice. Make sure the investigation is begun as soon as possible, make sure someone who knows what independent means contacts me about who the investigators are to be, and make sure that this time, my side of things is given priority as the million pound whitewash covers the lies and hatred of the wrongdoers and conflicted authorities already but doesn't include me.

Now, as I said at the beginning, as you appear to intend to go on re-abusing me and other victims with impunity and ignoring requests for you to stop, and as the police continue to be complicit and refuse to act upon the criminal behaviour of you and your clergy and laity, I will tell you as I told Tim Dakin and he ignored it at great cost to himself, if the police won't stop you or bring you to justice, I will take you to court. Remember how Tim Dakin was so embarrassed to be taken to court that when you and he publicly destroyed me in 2016, he failed to tell the general public about that through the press, and instead tried to claim that he was feeding the illegal criminal whitewash Steel report into the whitewash Gladwin report, without either meeting with me or giving me a copy of the Steel report.

It is absolutely unthinkable that in this day and age you have, or think you have, got away with the million pound whitewash and left me living as a destroyed fugitive, and your arrogance and psychopathy not only in thinking that this will be covered up, but to go on boasting about abuse and glorifying yourself, is appalling, unthinkable, only a Godless and unregulated organization like the church could do that, and you remember when you used George Carey as a PR stunt in asking him to step down when you exactly the same to me in my case as he did to the Peter Ball victims?

All I can say is, one more boast from you and I will file, and you may control the press and media to the extent that you were able to publicly destroy me unquestioned, but you will go down in history for your criminal behaviour in my case. And remember, Tim Dakin thought I was bluffing until he ended up in court with a lawyer who lied desperately and then dropped dead. What a terrible shameful position you and Tim Dakin and your colleagues are in, to be using the Lord's Name in vain while you don't know Him and are invalidating any person you give communion to, and marriage you preside over, any service you preside over, because you were willing to KILL a vulnerable adult and lie about it, for the sake of the church's image.

Every day that I suffer, you and your church and faith are invalid and God, if He exists, will be furious. Stop boasting and hiding, your victim and the injustice is not going away through your blocking her and her calls, letters and emails, your victim isn't going away while your safeguarding team invalidate themselves by doing the same.

 Sincerely, the destroyed and dying victim of the million pound Jersey and Winchester Whitewash and demonstration that the Church of England are a dangerous, nasty and needless burden on society.

JJ

The Churchwarden

Available on Lulu and shortly also on Amazon and other booksellers.

The Churchwarden.

http://www.lulu.com/shop/jj-nortyperson/the-churchwarden-book1/paperback/product-23011906.html

http://www.lulu.com/shop/jj-nortyperson/the-churchwarden-book1/ebook/product-23011890.html

The Year 2016

It has been an incredibly hard year, not that there have been any easy years. I am only doing a brief recap of the year this year as I am moving house and am very tired and ill.
I feel I should still do an account of the year even if my heart isn't in it. And in a way I am worried that I am repeating what is already in the books 'Coming Home' and 'Homecoming'.

January.

In January this year I was somehow surviving on almost no money at all due to unfairly losing my tax credits and my work was very low as well, the winter is a hard time for gardeners and for me it was my first year back in work and I had been living hand to mouth and unable to prepare for winter. So I was in absolute poverty in January.

I was doing my best with my second term at university but it was a sad hard time. Christmas Day 2015 was the last time I saw my friend alive and she died in January of this year.

I continued to fight to rebuild my life despite the sadness and poverty, as I had no idea that the Church of England would destroy me and make it all worthless a few months later.

There was that disastrous day in January when I woke up to a leak in the roof and water dripping onto my laptop, and then Florence broke down in the pouring rain and floods in the middle of nowhere as I delivered the papers round the villages. Thankfully I managed to bump start her and get her home, but she needed a new starter motor.

I was coming to the end of my work delivering papers on the rural routes now anyway as it had been too much stress for me and Florence, and we swapped for a smaller, local round.

The wet weather and local flooding continued.

I joined a running course and was running well but it was badly arranged and hard to keep up with. When my friend died, I remember running and crying, and I renamed the blog 'The Journey Home' for some reason. Partly because Jane Fisher seemed to have vanished and I felt almost as if I had a right to live again despite losing my best friend.
I didn't get on with all my friend's family and I chose not to attend the funeral, I couldn't cope with them and I was too weak myself.

I was doing my best, despite my terror, to endure hospital appointments about my jaw as I now had a good dentist and he had been concerned about my jaw, the hospital backed up this concern and wanted to splint my jaw and do biopsies and things, but I was so tired, so ill and so I bottled out of hospital treatment. Quite apart from anything, I couldn't afford to get to the hospital and pay for parking or bus fares, I had no money and no-one was helping me.

I was attending gym regularly and getting on with a lot of exercise, and I was working a very quiet delivery driving shift and getting a lot of study done while I sat and waited for deliveries.


February

In February I started some more work to tide me over, leaflet distribution. Hard and unrewarding work but at least it kept me fit and started to bring money in.
I was treated dreadfully bu the first company I did leaflets for but I was spotted by someone who got me to take on a leaflet job for them as well, they paid me properly and I applied to get my tax credits back, and eventually I ended up doing delivery driving for them when I was treated too badly by the other place. These jobs aren't nice or permanent but what mattered was that I was earning a living.

The weather turned from wet to icy and I continued to try to lower my blood pressure after the crisis with Bob Hill's collapse had sent me into blood pressure crisis.

I decided to go ahead with my sponsored 70 mile walk even though I felt awful, depressed and ill, and I knew it would be hard doing the walk without my friend or any support.

I was walking to raise money for a charity that my youth group used to support when I was younger, because that charity came up in my university studies as a case study. I planned the walk for Easter.

I went out with my social group, a rare thing now because the damage by the church had been such that I just didn't want to go out any more. I was sad that the social group were reluctant to support my walk.

It was a leap year but I didn't propose to anyone, so my poor old neighbour downstairs remained unmarried until he died, despite the fact that he called me beautiful every time he saw me.

March 

March appears to be quite nondescript. On March 8th I fell and my house keys went flying and I did a little

I had a dream in March, it seems to have almost been a prophecy, about the police. As you know, the police turned up in September this year and I hit the roof.

This is from the dream I had in March

And the police turned up.
The police actually took things seriously and wanted to question me on what I had seen, imagine if that happened in real life!
Anyway. In the dream I was furious with the police because they have treated me so badly in real life.
So I raged at them for what they have done to me, and they stood there looking surprised.
Poor dream-officers, it wasn't all their fault!

Anyway, I woke up thinking 'What on earth!' Because that was way too vivid and cohesive.

March was nondescript, and I was short of money, and at one point I accidentally let Florence's battery go flat.

The Channel Islands were having ferry problems so I wrote them yet another poem.

The plight of the condor:

 Engine failure
mechanical issues
weather issues
new boat detained

Goodwill under water
Clipper in for repair
Liberation captured
and Islanders in Despair


I started the sponsored walk on Good Friday, trying to get ahead of the forthcoming bad weather. I didn't feel like walking or celebrating Easter, but the first day or two of the walk was good weather so I survived, I took time off from all my work except delivery driving as I was the only driver. But later in the week the weather turned very bad with wind and rain and it was hard to complete the last Great Walk.

The sponsored walk put me in the mood for a spring clean and clearout of the rubbish I owned, and that is how March ended.

April

My friend was taking me to Opera and ballet, and I liked ballet but not opera at first.

Justin Welby decided that he would announce to the world that he spat on Jesus, by using the press and media for a stunt about his various fathers. Amazinly the world let him do this and limelight seeking leaders in other churches 'supported' him.
I made a complaint to the papers and ofcom and ipso that as Welby's corporation were under investigation for systemic child rape, they should not be advertising themselves but should have the decency to be quiet while under investigation, even for the sake of their victims.

The fact that I was delivering newspapers and had to deliver Welby's narcissistic stunt to so many houses left me off work ill. And of course Welby doesn't care if one of his victims starve, as long as people are mistakenly worshipping him.

I started to try to arrange a support worker for myself but it was impossible in my poverty and the unstable situation that the church were keeping me in.

Towards the end of April I was starting to revise for a music exam and end of term assessments for university, and my landlady got me to clean a filthy flat with a dying resident in it, cleaning that flat made me ill and I was under stress over revision as well, so it wasn't an easy time.

Hillsbourough Campaigners started to win a much-deserved victory in April, and Junior Doctors started striking.

I wrote a blog post about Bob Hill, and I felt better for it, because I felt to blame for his collapse even though he had hurt me a lot in his efforts to 'solve' my case.

My landlady went through a weird phase of offering me a downstairs flat and withdrawing the offer repeatedly, leaving me confused and upset, she appeared to be having major problems in her own life and was acting bizarrely.

May

This was the month of my exams and also the month that the church destroyed me. It is hard to write about.

I am not sure I want to go through it all again. I have been destroyed and waiting to die ever since.

The music exam was at the beginning of the month, and there was already a problem with the landlady hanging around the house and being weird and I was under stress. Then the day before the exam I witnessed an accident outside the house, a collision between a van and a motorbike, which left me shocked.

I still got the exam and passed it.
But then I was ill with stress, tired and in pain from the injuries seizing up with stress.

Immediately the Church of England launched upon me as I tried to pull myself together and do my end of term assessments.

It might be easier for my health if rather than go into details of the evil committed against me by the Bishop of Winchester and Archbishop of Canterbury, aided by the National Safeguarding Team, I post this, which sums up why there was a million pound cover-up that condemned me and my life and upheld criminal wrongdoers


And so I was destroyed to cover up for evil. And there is no safeguarding in the Church of England.

The church had spent a million pounds covering up for their evil and doing so at the expense of my life and health, and they wanted to bring it to a close, at my expense, in the press and media, discrediting me and upholding the wrongoders.

The damage is done and it would have been better if I had died in May. They continue to refuse to redact their discrediting and bring an independent investigation into my case, well if they did allow an investigation a number of people would have to resign or be arrested.

June

I managed to scrape through my university exams despite there being no point in life any more.

And it was all only getting worse.

I was being plagued by an idiot called Jane Dodds who wanted the Church cover-up neatly swept away and me co-erced into saying that being utterly destroyed was fine. She was caseworker for the national safeguarding team of the church on a voluntary basis before she suddenly vanished after adding to the harm to me.

But it was all worse, the situation where I lived had already been precarious before the church destroyed me, and I felt that I had no choice but to give notice, and I did. 

My work was falling apart as well, and Florence, the car, was due her MOT and I was sure I couldn't get her through the MOT.

I was going to lose Florence and my home and the rest of my life was already destroyed by the church, it felt as if all my work in rebuilding my life had been for nothing.

Bob Hill came out of hospital after many months but he couldn't speak, he wasn't quite the same Bob.

And then my tax credits were restored, so Florence went back to her old owners to be overhauled and sold on, I took Max, her younger brother, off their hands for a bit more than I paid for Florence.

I wrote this:  http://lifeafterthediocese.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/archbishop-abuse-case.html

Jersey's failed and disgraced safeguarding partnership started harassing me in earnest over their whitewash report into my case and trying to force me to agree to it's publication, just as I prepared to move house and just after the move.

The house move and buying Max left me short of money and I nearly became dangerously ill with low blood sugar when food ran out.

I moved to the new house at the end of June. I was utterly exhausted, destroyed by the church and not sure what to do, I knew that the new place wasn't going to be a permentant home, it was right by a pub and with no parking and was mainly benefits tenants and a lot more run down than the old place. But what could I do? Everything I had built up was smashed down.

July

I started looking for more work despite the state I was in, I couldn't afford to sit around, but I was too unsure of most of the work that was on offer, but a gardening team who I had been in contact with in the past offered me sub-contract work and I took them up on it and have been working with them part time ever since as well as doing my own gardening rounds.

Max started having catalyst problems, and as I write this, we intend to change his catalyst in the new year. But it was worrying to start with as I didn't know what was wrong.

I started writing and preparing Manuscripts, and in July I started writing 'Coming Home' which kept me sane and occupied after my whole world had collapsed and been swept away, and I managed to keep going as a result, even with increasingly vile attacks by Jersey safeguarding partnership, culminating in their famous troll attack instigated by Ian Gorst.

August

On the same day as Battle of Flowers in Jersey, I marshaled for the local carnival. I hadn't marshaled since I used to marshal for Battle when I was in Jersey. If I wasn't in such a broken state then I would have said that this was a positive sign but after the horrific unhealable wounds inflicted by the church and Jersey Safeguarding Partnership, I wasn't recovering, I just happened to marshal, and it wasn't brilliant really, I just got posted outside a local church who I had been helping and they treated me like royalty, apart from that I didn't enjoy marshaling and wasn't fit to be there. I pretended it was great and wonderful but I felt like death.

On August 22nd I published my first three books, 'Goodnight Anna', 'Coming Home' and 'The Silent World'. And the books haven't stopped. I think including some in private circulation, there are about 18, and some of those are duplicated into other forms as well, such as e-books.

I re-started my music lessons which had been ruined by the church and poverty and I was revising for a grade 5 exam.

I had no idea what was about to happen.

September 

Before the world shattered, I was preparing a new book, and I was starting to do short story competitions as well as preparing for university and revising for my grade 5 exam.

On September 3rd, in a grotesque parody of my old life, I stewarded at a local horticultural show, but to me it was just going through the motions, what I had before is gone forever, my community, my friends, my shows, the church destroyed it all, and I felt more sad and useless than anything else, but the people wanted me to start showing again for next year and they were trying to arrange me some land, which would have gone ahead if the police attack hadn't happened.

You may remember I posted this:

“I sit alone in a dead world. The wind blows hot and dry, and the dust gathers like particles of memory waiting to be swept away. I pray for forgetfulness, yet my memory remains strong, as does the outstretched arm of the oppressive air. It seems as if the wind has been there since the beginning of the nightmare. Sometimes loud and harsh, a thousand sharp needles scratching at my reddened skin. Sometimes a whisper, a curious sigh in the black of night, of words more frightening than pain. I know now the wind has been speaking to me. Only I couldn't understand because I was too scared. I am scared now as I write these words. Still, there is nothing else to do.”

Christopher Pike - Whisper of Death

September 5th 2016, it was raining in the morning, just enough to delay my work, so I was out and about, doing other things.

It was when I came back that my world stopped. I don't know if the shock and revulsion and terror will ever fade.

All was well, well as well as it could be after the horrific damage by the church and safeguarding partnership, and I was walking up to the flats, my landlord was working on the shop below the flats and he said hello and smiled, and I said hello and smiled, all normal, and then the world stopped and never re-started.

My landlord said to me 'You see that car there? That car belongs to two police, a woman and a man and they have come to see you'.

I am crying as I write this. I am severely traumatized. It was the end of my home, my safety and the last remnants of the life I had rebuilt, my safety and welfare depended on being a fugitive, and the bastards had found me.

My landlord told me that this man and woman had come all the way to find me, quite a journey, and they were 'concerned for my welfare'. They had come all the way from Jane Fisher's local police station, Jane Fisher, who repeatedly had me beaten and imprisoned to silence me for the church.

Those of you who don't know what 'concern for my welfare'  means, it means the police consider you to be insane and meriting a beating and imprisonment for your abusers.

The most horrifying things about this were that the bastards had actually been discussing me with my landlord, but worse, they had been able to trace me after all my efforts to be in hiding. I was done for, my new identity was my safety, the thing I relied on to not be branded and driven out, and the bastards would probably have ripped through my whole life, friends, community and private records and privacy and contacts, in order to destroy me again as they were doing now.

The one and only advantage I had was that the bastards had left their car and gone off somewhere.

I was hungry and I couldn't flee without my ID and food and things I needed, so I had no choice but to go into my flat.

Unfortunately the bastards came back as I did so, I had told the landlord that when they came back, to tell them to leave and never come back or I would make a harassment complaint. 

But unfortunately he had given them my phone number. And I was trapped in my home because they wouldn't leave.

Instead of leaving, the bastards tried to phone me.

I told them to leave or I would make a harassment complaint.

They weren't taking no for an answer and tried to text me.

I emailed professional standards and told them to get their bastards off my doorstep.

The bastards tried to leave but their car broke down and my landlord had to help them bump start it as they didn't know how!  He never stopped laughing but I wasn't laughing, because when they showed no sign of leaving, I climbed out the skylight and onto the roof, and I am scared of heights, I was terrified, traumatised and sobbing as my world shattered again.

I haven't recovered even now, as you may have noticed, I am very ill, and the police and professional standards have done nothing to rectify anything, nor explain this illegal violation of my home.

Well actually although the bastards left, they have been really nasty about my complaint, as have professional standards, and have jeered by sending letters in my old name for me to sign for when I am not allowed to and to see letters turning up in the flats under my old name and breaching the law and my identity change added to the horrific trauma, and as yet nothing has been done, and professional standards, knowing my new name as the police who turned up here did, also sent letters to me under every name but my own.

I haven't recovered. And there has been no resolution. I never felt safe in my home and the shock, the trauma, the revulsion, of being violated and having my new identity and new clean record ripped from me has left me deteriorating and depressed and afraid. Every time I heard a car engine I rushed to the window.

You will see from September's blog posts and lack of blog posts, that things were very bad.

My relationship with the landlord and fellow tenants was never the same again, and to be honest the whole street, gossips that they were, and the pub, knew all about it, but the police and professional standards have not apologized.

Instead of going on the run and sleeping rough permanently, I decided to hang onto my home and stand my ground. But I didn't re-settle in the flat, it stank of shame and revulsion, and the problem of the noise from the upstairs neighbour became worse and I stopped sleeping properly.

October

I continued to publish books. The Wanderer Series was halfway now.

University started and I just had to do my best despite everything.

I continued work as well.

On the Anniversary of being left homeless, I went to Southampton Airport as usual.

While working with the team we survived being pulled over at a police checkpoint.

Then I got some sad news that an old Christian friend had died. 

I went to a day school and I tried to prepare for my grade 5 exam but I was struggling so much.

November 

November started catastrophically with professional standards jeering at me over my police complaint on the eve of my grade 5 exam, I broke a tooth the same evening, and also the same evening I coughed blood as my esophogus started bleeding again. 

I went and took the exam and then my adoptive mum who was supposed to meet me afterwards didn't turn up and Max redeveloped his catalyst fault as I headed for Winchester to celebrate North Walls.

I could hardly enjoy North Walls as I was too ill, and someone parked illegally, blocking Max in and I had to risk him getting a puncture as I had to bump him over kerbs.

When I got home I was violently ill, vomiting without stopping until there was only blood and bile coming up. It was supposed to be such a special weekend and there had been no good in the year at all and the weekend had been as bad as it could be, and yes, I failed the exam. I am mortified. My exams mean so much to me and I have to pay so much for them. I won't say things can't get worse, because the next church or police attack will be my horrible and messy death.

Anyway, work and university continued, even if I wasn't doing well at university. I went back on omeprazole and my esophogus stopped bleeding.

I got befriended by an old lady but she was extremely demanding and I couldn't cope with her, she wanted me to move in and be her housekeeper and all sorts, but I will tell you in full another time about that, it was totally unsuitable even if I was looking for another home.

My old dentist who was the only good dentist I ever saw, had left the practice and the new one filed my broken tooth down and had a bridge made up, but she kept ramming this bridge onto my sore gum and she wasn't English and didn't seem to understand that she was hurting me, I never wore the bridge in the end.

It is so unfair that I had found a good dentist and then he left.

December

December started with a bang. The bangs and crashes were from the upstairs neighbour at 2.45am in the morning, and I gave my notice when the landlord wouldn't do anything about this.

So I spent December looking for a new home and packing up my stuff.

I was very depressed and unhappy, but work and university continued, and I was offered a temporary home.

I was relieved at the thought of leaving the home that the police had destroyed, I was terrified every day that I remained there.

I tried to keep my life normal and prepare both for Christmas and the house move. It was stressful and I messed up a music assignment but scraped a pass.

My books about homelessness were beginning to grow a following.

Christmas arrived, and it wasn't too awful in some ways.

I enjoyed all the Christmassy television  and the lights and decorations, I was worried about money, because having put a deposit on the new place etc, I hadn't enough even for food, let alone celebrations, but several people stepped in and all was well.

I had just been to midnight mass and as I walked home, the police had closed the road and there was a dead man there, he had been murdered. That cast a shadow over Christmas a bit.

On Christmas morning I went to church and then spent the day with some people who live nearby, it was a nice enough day.

On boxing day I went to support the boxing day swim and came home, there was a strange man hanging around and I asked the police if it was a crackpot or one of their DCs, because this man hung around for ages and rang my doorbell but I didn't recognize him, he may have been a parasitic reporter about the murder up the road.

Anyway. I moved house a few days later and I am here at the new house, just finishing telling you about this terrible devastating year, and it sounds like many people have had a bad year.

The USA have a new president and the UK are leaving the Eurpoean Union and everyone us stressed and uncertain, it hasn't been a good year for anyone. But for me it has been pure hell and there seems to be no way it can get better, the damage to me can't really be repaired.

Happy New Year.

A formal Letter

Formal Complaint against the Archbishop of Canterbury and the failure to record the matter properly by phone this morning CC: IICSA and to be published online.

Dear William Nye and Archbishop's council,

This complaint is copied to the police, who for years have beaten and imprisoned me to try to silence me for the Church of England. I am alive but horrifically damaged and eventually I will collapse as Bob Hill did while trying to defend me against the Church.  

The Church haven't taken responsibility for Bob's collapse or the harm to me, but the police have a duty to deal with the Church, the police are afraid to deal with Bishops and Archbishops and their hefty and Godless legal teams that invalidate the Church of England, as is seen in the cases of Peter Ball and Bishop Bell and the former Bishop of Gloucester, the police prefer victim suicides and silencing victims because they are afraid of the Church and it's massive and abusive power.

But nonetheless they do have my complaints and they will be asked why they didn't deal with them as well as why they refused for so many years to stop the Church of England from harming me. What the police can do to start with, is formally ask the Church to refer my case to a competent safeguarding body outside of the Church of England, which is what I have now be requesting for three months.

Police please note, the Bishop of Winchester has breached a court agreement over the Steel report. He was not allowed to publish or distribute the Steel report without having first got agreement on its accuracy and consent from me, and instead of telling the press and media and general public this, he has claimed that the Steel report is valid and that he is handing it over to the conflicted and biased Bishop Gladwin to include in his report.

Handing it over to Gladwin breaches the court order instantly. The Bishop has still failed to send me my copy of the Steel report, which despite being written by a conflicted member of the Jersey circle and not including me, was supposed to be about my case.

This morning I phoned the office of the Archbishop's council as it is obvious that nothing is being done about the open corruption, deceit and abuse by the Archbishop of Canterbury and Bishop of Winchester in my case and the very serious harm that he and the Bishop of Winchester have done to me.

Surely it is the biggest safeguarding failure in the Church of England apart from the Peter Ball and Kendal House cases, and yet my case is unique in that the harm was carried out while the Archbishop and Paul Butler have been keeping up this front about the Church 'caring about safeguarding'.  And less unique in that the Church of England intend to keep silence and not act while the wrongdoers involved are still in office. 

There is no good outcome of the Church spending a million pounds to publicly destroy a very broken and homeless vulnerable adult and uphold her abusers publicly, there is no good conclusion and no glory in it for the Church of England, all they have achieved is a statement that they will protect abusers, publicly at any cost, even at the cost of the life of a brave man and a vulnerable adult and they will discredit the victim after carrying out a number of biased whitewashes that they incredibly try to label independent. Someone needs to define both safeguarding and independent to the Church as they consistently mis-use these words.

The Church don't care about safeguarding, they care about covering up, looking good, and using anything they can as PR and limelight stunts. The Church have been persistently using the crime of sexual assault as a limelight stunt since the current Archbishop took his position, which reflects very badly on him indeed. But anyone who saw him use his 'Father/s' as a press stunt will know that he has never been fit for his office as he doesn't represent Jesus in his twisted use of his personal life to gain attention. Why are the police and authorities not challenging the Church on these serious abuses of the public and the vulnerable?

This morning's phone conversation reflected the fact that nothing has changed in the closed fortress of cover up and denial in the Church of England. I doubt with all my heart that anyone will 'phone me back' as suggested by the terrified woman who was breaking the 'no communication with HG' rule' this morning. And if only it was just me, Eli Ward, Graham Sawyer and every victim who has contacted me has been treated this way.

The Archbishop's persistent use of church sexual assaults as a PR stunt whilst not changing the Church's horrendous treatment of victims means that he isn't really in a position to continue, but his very blatant and open favouritism in the Jersey Deanery case means he certainly should step down, and this is a formal complaint to that effect.

The damage to me of the public discrediting by the Archbishop and his refusal to deal with open wrongdoing in the Jersey Deanery and by the Bishop of Winchester means he cannot be upheld as a Godly man or an example of Christianity, and his habit of using current affairs as press stunts to get limelight for the Church annoys a lot of people.

What kind of human being does as the Archbishop has done, in upholding both the Jersey Deanery and the Bishop of Winchester in open and blatant deceit, abuse of power and very serious harm to a vulnerable adult and claiming that no wrong has been done? I am still suffering the way the Church has publicly destroyed me, and neither the Bishop or Archbishop have met me or recorded my story, what a terrible way to waste a million pounds, on destroying a vulnerable adults who has already suffered too much.

And although the lady I spoke to this morning was perfectly polite, it became clear that she wanted to get off the phone and close the matter down quite quickly once she realised who I was. So nothing has changed in the Church's fortress of denial and corruption. Branding a vulnerable adult is never acceptable, branding them when they are homeless and destroyed by the Church is as far from Christianity as you can get.

Why, in this day and age is the Church still allowed to abuse its power this way? And incidentally why is this wealthy corporation allowed to have dual roles as charity and government department and why does the Synod hoard billions and make local churches waste sermons on begging money to keep the church running? Why if the Church is a 'Christian Church' are they not dealing with abuse and abusers properly and making provision for victims?

When the Archbishop publicly destroyed me earlier this year, with the help of the Bishop of Winchester, he had never met me, neither had the Bishop.

The National Safeguarding team added to the injury caused by the Bishop and Archbishop and their complicit press by claiming that 'The Church didn't mean to hurt me' what a stupid thing to say to someone who has been publicly destroyed for three and a half years by the Church through the press and media, what exactly did they mean to do then? The National Safeguarding Team are invalid until or unless they are independent of the Church of England and not under the people who are doing the wrong and are not acting complicit with wrongdoers to cover up and excuse wrongdoing.

This morning on the phone the woman started out as all Church of England people do, all polite, she asked if it was a safeguarding or general complaint, well it is both but the National Safeguarding Team were told to ignore me when they didn't get what they wanted from me. Graham Tilby actually told me he was told to ignore the distress that he and Jane Dodds provoked in their denial of my situation and efforts to force a meeting on me rather than deal with my complaint.

They wanted me to be complicit in the Bishop's discrediting attack on me, and tried to make me and the Bishop communicate despite the fact that I took him to court in 2014 to stop him from killing me by handing the whitewash steel report over to William Bailhache, one of the conflicted Church-States members who had elected Steel for the cover up.

The Bishop and Archbishop, while misleading the press and public with impunity, seem unable to tell the press or the public about how Steel was conflicted and I was forced to file against the Bishop as  litigant in person when I was so ill.

The National Safeguarding team have refused to address this massive safeguarding failure of the past three and a half years and kept on and on trying to get me into a meeting 'To support me', and no doubt other vulnerable victims fall for this part in the Church's cover-up machine, but not me, I won't meet with people who are complicit in cover-up and harm to a vulnerable adult, who have stood by and knowingly allowed harm as Tilby, Dodds and Murray have, and who have been engaged in this harm as well, for example liaising with the Bishop of Winchester to cover his back. How terrible that anyone who claims to be in safeguarding would act this way.

If the National Safeguarding Team can't see the very serious misconducts and harm to me by the actions of the Archbishop, Bishop and Jersey Deanery and complicit press, they can certainly see the harm to Bob Hill for defending my life with his own, the only reasons they have not acted is because they don't understand safeguarding or they are unwilling to deal with the powerful wrongdoers, both of these things invalidate them and while the wrongdoers remain and I have not had an equal voice in the press and media who carried out the Church of England's massive abuse of power in this case, then I remain suffering.

You can't get all abuse victims, vulnerable as they are, to obligingly trot into the cover-ups and cover-up meetings that Dodds and Tilby kept putting me under pressure to bow to and attend. I wonder how many other victims have been silenced this way?

On the subject, Tilby claimed that Elaine Rose, the woman who has defended and condoned the bad behaviour of the Jersey Deanery, had any right to liaise with the conflicted Jersey Safeguarding Partnership over their whitewash serious case review, and he claimed he could get a copy of the serious case review whitewash.

 He didn't have my consent, and no-one has had my consent to view that set-up whitewash. It is another defamatory cover-up created by a woman who is facing charges for perversion of the course of justice, and it was created for and by the same dignitaries in Jersey who engineered the Steel whitewash. It is invalid and since the failure of the Steel report, those dignitaries in Jersey have clamoured for the release of this whitewash and even launched a troll attack on me using a fake gov.je email address.

This morning the lady on the phone was taking my details as normal until I mentioned the Korris report, and all of a sudden, whoever was in the office with her tipped her the wink and she rapidly tried to close the matter down and started talking about how 'someone would give me a response' rather than anything being done about my complaint. No-one will 'give me a response' because the Church take legal advice against their victims and their legal advice is to ignore me and not speak to me.

 Safeguarding? No, they destroyed me to close the Jersey matter down and now they are ignoring me, so the best thing the Archbishop can do is stop using sexual assault to try to glorify the Church in the press and media at the expense of victims, and step down. 

The Church recently had another feeble effort over their inadequate and conflicted 'independent inquiries in the press', they chose a man who protected Greville Janner and shared an office with another high profile paedophile, to lead an investigation into the Bishop Bell case, which will undoubtedly harm the victim, and yet they haven't arranged an independent investigation into the misconducts of the Archbishop and Bishop in my case, where a million pounds was spent, mainly on lawyers and PR firms because of the complete and utter mess they made in launching the non-independent and unqualified 'Korris' report into the press and allowing me to be publicly destroyed. The police need to respond to the illegal release of the Korris report as it was sent to them to compound the cover-up that they took part in through harming me and not protecting me from the Church of England when asked.

This matter isn't going to go away through the Church ignoring me, and the Safeguarding team who failed me have been asked to refer my case to a safeguarding body outside of the Church of England and to make sure an independent inquiry is called, and presumably the reason that they can't call an inquiry in my case as they did in the cases of Bell, Ball, etc is because the wrongdoers involved are still in their positions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nonetheless, this is a repeat request for an independent inquiry and this letter and everything I have said will not go away, nor will the open and glaring wrongs of the Church of England.

I wouldn't put it past the Church to do another whitewash without telling me and claim the same results as well as claiming an independent inquiry was carried out. No, as yet no inquiry has included me, no action was taken over conflicts of interests, no appropriate action was taken, and in Jersey they allowed open and free tampering with my records to cover up and aid the whitewash, how horrifying. The Church of England needs to be properly regulated, the authorities need to stop bowing to this massive power-abusive corporation which is akin to a Nazi regime, no-one should stand by now, because my case and the open abuse of power and illegal actions is a step too far.

The Church need to decide whether they are a charity or a government department and be regulated either as a charity or a government department, and with their bad record and bad name, that regulation needs to be from outside the Church.

Police, please be aware, as I have told you before, that I am due to suffer another vicious onslaught from the press and media when the Dean announces his forthcoming retirement, which seems for some reason to be delayed. The damage to me by the press and media, since the Church have released my details and identity to the general public, is a criminal act and you are aware from my correspondence just how weak and destroyed I am.

This is a formal complaint and also a formal request for independent and police intervention into my case.

Sincerely,

JJ/HG - Korris report victim