I feel like sitting here and crying, but I will try to write my usual daily blog.

I went to the Samaritans last night, I got a helpful samaritan who I had seen before, he asked his colleague to make me a cup of tea, we had a good chat.

After that I went to soup kitchen, the weather had turned increasingly nasty again, galeforce wind and pouring rain.
Soupkitchen was good, I got some spare socks and a blanket and some gloves and things.
I was very annoyed and upset to be approached by the housing/outreach team when they know I have asked them to leave me alone. I told them from a distance that this was their last warning.

The soup kitchen people were generous in giving me sandwiches and goody bags and plenty of tea, but they couldn't give me improved weather, and after P. let me down on Friday night he had been in contact by text a lot but tonight he was too drunk to make any sense when I asked if I could stay at his house.

I sheltered in the library porch with a few other homeless people for a while after soup kitchen, the security guard was ok with us being there, then the others went away and I walked down through the market, where the wind was threatening to take some of the awnings and oddments with it, the rain was relentless.

I walked along the high street and the police were getting their essential donut money from the cashpoint so they were treated to the sight of the mad autistic girl scuttling along like a hedgehog and fastidiously picking up blown away rubbish bags and cardboard and muttering loudly to God about needing a dry sleeping place.

Well there was only one possibility for sleeping place in this weather, the porch I had borrowed when I was flooded from my sleeping place a while back, again the rain was being blown in by the wind, but this time I had dry warm bedding with me, my legs were wet and cold and didn't warm easily, but the rest of me was ok-ish, it was a bit cramped trying to stay in the corner of the porch out of sight from the road, and I knew I had to move early in the morning before anyone arrived, I slept lightly and cold, but woke up a bit more cheerful.
It was too early for the market stall, but I found a sticker and went to McD's and had a hot cuppa before the market stall opened. Then I went to market stall for tea hour, and then I went in the nice toilets and had a thorough wash that also helped to warm me up, the cold from the wet night went right to my bones.

Library time, I haven't been able to concentrate and instead focussed on a letter of complaint to the homeless services about their continued intrusions. I also got really cross with the people at the mission, it is hard to explain that but it is partly just that the mission with their visions and laying on of hands is too much for me, it sends me into flashbacks, but I ended up crying because I love them but feel unable to see them or deal with it all properly.

Black clouds and heavy downpours and high winds turned into arctic winds with freezing cold and blue snow clouds overhead.

It is now evening, I have done almost no blog, it is possible that what I have written in the past few days has overwhelmed me, and Christmas approaching doesn't help.