What are you doing just now?
Panicking, I am preparing to go away and everything is going wrong, and I am preparing for a music exam, basically I am overwhelmed and it is not good for me.
What is your cat doing?
Pretending to be asleep on my bed while sneakily licking his paw.
What is your favourite drink?
I like tea, I drink a lot of tea, I also drink a lot of Sugar-free Barley water, especially at night and at work. I also like strong coffee.
What do you worry about?
Everything. I am a worrier, when Jane Fisher tried to have me put away as mad, the psychiatrics said I wasn't mentally ill but my levels of anxiety were extreme, and they are. I worry about money and home and the cat, I worry because, having had the experience of being mercilessly destroyed by Jane Fisher and her associate Bishops while everyone I screamed to for help ignored me and believed them, I know that it can all happen again and I cannot take my home or friends or work or anything else for granted, there is nothing to stop the church from having me beaten and imprisoned.
So I worry for my whole life, because it is paper thin.
What are you having for tea?
I do not have tea for supper, supper is supper, tea is a hot drink. I do not know what I am having for supper as I did a hot meal at lunchtime and I have a music lesson tonight, so I will probably be doing beans and toast when I get home. It is my last music lesson before the exam.
Trying to avoid any trauma here, do you miss Jersey?
Avoiding trauma here, nope. I barely remember it most of the time.
Actually I will expand.
It is not a happy place, even for people who do well for themselves. I would love to hear otherwise.
I never saw any prospering person in Jersey happy or smiling, and I saw a lot of broken families and unhappy people, even rich people who were deeply unhappy and angry, and one person who had absolutely everything and used to regularly tell me she wished she was dead.
The image of the beautiful island and prosperity is very thin. I was talking to someone yesterday who said he was very disappointed when he saw Jersey, he saw the same as I did, a run-down, built up place with a lot of unhappy people. However, there is still a small part of Jersey which isn't yet built on, but first images of Jersey to anyone visiting by ferry are awful, and about to get worse with the new finance centre. I am relieved to say that my home is not like that, a lot of the hills around me are protected.
My first images of Jersey were: St. Hellier, looking awful, First Tower looking awful, litter lying around, travel shops offering paradise holidays (because Jersey isn't the paradise that a few still think it is) and so many people smoking, why, if Jersey is supposed to be a paradise island, do so many people smoke?
I would rather be here.
What's your favourite shop?
Haha.
Poundland.
What was the last phonecall you made?
Nosey.
I don't use the phone unless I know the person I am phoning, due to having dysphasia problems. I phoned my friend and she is coming to take me to music practice later.
Plans for the future?
As I said in a previous question, my life remains in jeapordy because of the Diocese, and any plans I make are in danger of being destroyed and it is hard to have plans when I know that.
Flat, car, degree course, music, travel.
The rest of the questions will be answered at a later date due to it being music practice time.
A survivor of Church abuse and cover ups goes on battling for her voice to be heard. A daily account of life after the Diocese of Winchester destroyed her and the slow and painful steps to rebuilding a life.
Introduction
This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/
The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.
The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.
Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP
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