music

I can't write anything, I feel so utterly useless. I am alone, the good and the people who I loved are the other side of a wall that I can never climb back over, I am the Bad, I am in the Dark.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChU4M3fe-9Q&feature=related
David Essex - 'A winter's tale', This is the Christmas that has gone, Christmas with my brother, Christmas with the church people, Christmas where I was always poor and needy, Christmas shopping in Roughtown when this was playing in the shop.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhBGC_X09Fg&feature=related
Greg Lake - 'I believe in Father Christmas', This reminds me of me and my brother preparing Christmas for our family, we used to listen to these songs, often on headphones or quietly as our parents dissaproved of all christmas songs and carols.
It reminds me of how the illusion of Christmas always being magical only went away for me at that Christmas that my abusers ruined.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACaaAFuNHoY
Roger Miller 'Old Toy Trains', my brother and I used to listen to this, all I remember is me and my brother and how we used to listen to music and spend time together when we were in the hostels when we were children, we didn't have many friends outside the family, it was a hostile place outside the family, but we were like friends in a way.