Thursday

Good evening peeps,

I was very poorly today, my temperature rocketed and I was sweating and I couldn't breathe.
I was asleep for a very long time, long enough to get very dehydrated and to trigger pain because I couldn't support my head and neck in my sleep. There is no-one here, my landlord is away, and I was asleep for so long, I was just too ill to do anything, I haven't eaten.

I was dreaming about Jersey and Winchester.
In my dream there was the storm that was so bad that it washed that shark up on the wall at Noirmont, like what happened in those final days of the Church of England destroying me in Jersey.

I dreamed about the sea in the sunlight, it was turquoise blue and Anna was on the ferry with her ferry collar, and she was at the back, so I could stand there and see her and see the steaming light on the ferry as we rode the bay to St. Helier. Dreams are funny, how they confuse night and day. The steaming light and the storm and dark couldn't be at the same time as the sunlight on the water.

A trio of angels holding candles of life, guide a ship to an unknown shore. 
Travelling along a cloudy path, with a wing a heart and a prayer. 

I dreamed of Winchester, my people were still there in my dream, and the Cathedral was the landmark of my home, rather than a symbol of the hatred and injustice of the church of england. I dreamed that me and Poppy were rolling down the Arbour bank in the snow, and it was sausage and potato for supper at home. Jewry street was in the sunlight and life was young and beautiful.
It was night and day at the same time there as well.

But when I woke up, I woke up to illness and complete loss of hope, and agony.

I didn't, as you may have guessed, have any more spine treatment, and I can't, so I will lose my spine and legs, and I didn't go to London or to work today. I slept for many hours and I feel very very ill.