Wednesday

Good evening peeps,

Last night was the same, slightly more sleep, but waking tired and late in the morning.
The fact that I had planned for a rained off day meant that didn't matter.

I didn't do much today, collected my new DVD - 'The Cuckoo' the Russian film that saved my life in 2012, it was what decided me to go on living. So I watched that.

Everything feels strange, sad, drifting, the bank holiday always disrupts my autistic world, and yesterday working alone instead of with my mate, and then today, rained off.

I haven't done much, when I went out earlier I got stuck in traffic and was forced to stop and have a McDonalds lunch and get some essential groceries before turning round and coming home a different way.

I watched Hollyoaks, dealt with a lot of twitter activity, which generally made me feel worse, and went down to the sea in the dark, briefly. I haven't done that in a while but I can't feel what I used to feel, it all seems useless and pointless to me, the things I used to love or want to do are of no worth, my life is a wait for the church and police to finish killing me,