Wednesday

Hey peeps,

Well it has been a difficult day. Just trauma affecting me this morning and making work hard. And I did work hard for the morning, with rain threatening as I worked.

But by lunchtime I was fed up and it was raining but lightly. I went to the next job and we decided to rain me off, which was a relief because my distress was such that I felt like screaming. I needed the money but what can you do when you are poor and paying your rent from your wage and battling PTSD and a never ending stream of hurts?

I came home intending to do some writing and taped statements but I was, and have been recently, just too traumatized to do much, I ended up doing a load of research for someone else about abuse cases, and it kind of helped.

I took several 5HTP capsules and in the evening I went to the Samaritans. It kind of helped, it wasn't the most helpful, but my distress has been building up, as it does and even a little help helps.

I am tired and I am going to bed in a minute.