My day starts early, I wake up early to do the newspaper round.
I find it hard to wake and get up, and usually there is just time for me to get dressed, brush my hair, open the window if it isn't open, go to the toilet and make a cup of tea and drink it.
Usually when I make the first cup of tea, I also fill my thermos mug with tea and put it in the garage when I get my bike to go and do the paper round, this is because I crave more tea while I am doing my round and it is nice to have a mug of tea waiting for me as soon as I come back.
When I get home, I have a breakfast break, the length of which depends on where I am working or what I am doing that day.
Normally my breakfast is wholemeal toast with Bertolli, I don't like breakfast cereals and I find the toast keeps me going until lunch, sometimes I have peanut butter on toast. Occasionally I do healthy bacon and eggs for breakfast, and I usually have plenty of tea with my breakfast.
I usually have a shower after breakfast and then I go on the computer and catch up with emails, interactive learning, forums and other things.
Then work, depending on the day, work is variable and flexible. On Wednesdays I tend to go to therapy before work.
Other things I do apart from work include physiotherapy exercises, these are quite extensive and tiring, then there is music practice and preparation for university.
I also do all the housework at this house and I look after the cat.
In the evenings I watch the Simpsons and Hollyoaks and then I tend to turn the tv off, I sometimes watch DVDs later though.
I like to get out on my bike a few times a day if I can, I like biking along the seafront.
Another daily thing is keeping my work diary and ledger up to date as I am self-employed, I work across the district as a gardener and cleaner, but I am only part time due to health and continued stress from the Church of England, which affects me daily.
I get pen letters frequently so I reply to those, I have trouble holding a pen so it can be hard work, I also have a 'language partner' who is learning English and teaching me his native language, that is also to help me with university. My pen pals and I exchange post cards and photos and other little odds and ends and it is a good armchair socialising method. Several of them have social problems as I do, and they find pen palling a good way to have friendships, as I do.
I have been asked a lot about sailing but I am not fit to sail this year, and to be honest, I may never be able to dinghy sail again. I also can't run or play football and also may never do those things again.
I have been asked about what meds I have to take because of the diocese, the answer is none, my meds are mainly asthma related and supplements, I do not take anything related to mental health apart from using 5HTP if I am very low or suffering insomnia, it is not addictive and I use it sparingly anyway. I do not take any mood altering drugs or anything to 'suppress' anything. My meds, like everything else in my life, are all very neatly arranged in little plastic divided containers with the days of the week on them. I changed from being very messy and disorganized in my last life to being very tidy and organized in this life.
I don't put much effort into social life, I belong to a good social network where there are more outings and events that I will ever need and I pick and choose sparingly because I don't like being away from home in the evenings.
I go to car boot sales on Sundays and enjoy that, I usually allow myself some of my paper round wages for that, and I get books, toiletries and odds and ends for the house.
My life isn't boring, it is a bit solitary but that suits me, my life has many aspects to it and I am still shaping it, I have the car and the bike, I live by the sea and everything I need is within walking distance.
At night I go through a shut down routine to encourage me to settle to sleep without anxiety and generally I sleep OK, although I am more troubled by trauma at night.
So, that is basically my life.
A survivor of Church abuse and cover ups goes on battling for her voice to be heard. A daily account of life after the Diocese of Winchester destroyed her and the slow and painful steps to rebuilding a life.
Introduction
This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/
The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.
The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.
Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP
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