Tuesday Evening

Good evening,

Well I went out earlier. Booked a haircut, had a short walk.

Since the Archbishop's interview, I have been in difficulties, mainly in going outdoors and being with people, I am scared to be away from the computer when the next devastating bit of news breaks, possibly today and I am scared that I will see my friends and they will turn away as people in Winchester did when the diocese slandered me to them, I can't take any more hurt.

I am like Steven from 'Bunny and the Bull' I am scared of going out.

Anyway, I did fish pie and carrots for lunch, I am doing well with carrots in small bites, and I had an orange and have not brought any of it back up.

Mainly I have been sitting here reading and doing a task list, but I am worried that I am very tense, overwhelmed and trying to do too much and getting very little done, this is partly to do with the church problem and partly due to the anxiety of having a flat.

There was a thunderstorm earlier, but I hope it will stay dry while I force myself to have a short walk, I am scared and immobile, I wish it was over, wish the diocese had killed me by now and I would be at rest and not tense and battling.

I have made coffee as I have been drinking tea so much it turns tasteless.