Tuesday evening

Good evening,
Well I am physically and mentally wrecked, this time indoors has been a hiding to nothing and I can't really keep it up, it has been such a terrible strain, not sleeping well and battling with all my might to ensure I can live indoors, but to what purpose? I have no money and no occupation, I cannot do study, cannot pay the rent and look after myself, cannot go in not sleeping and waiting for the diocese and their police to destroy me.

I just can't do any more, I made steak and kidney and mash earlier but have not eaten anything else, I spent the last of the money on a bottle of milk.
I couldn't go to therapy or even social this week.
Every way I look at things, I am screwed, I can do not more.