Tuesday Evening

Here is a song I remember from when I was younger, I used to rewrite it a bit. My sister told me it was about someone considering suicide. She used to like it too, especially when her marriage got in trouble, it always reminds me of their home, and listening to this song there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_dn4SoYjVs   Daylight Fading, Counting Crows.

Last night it was hard to sleep because of the behaviour of the Dean and the way people were broadcasting it. It was hard to sleep because I am still being destroyed, so it was hard to wake this morning.

This morning I had been having vivid and sad dreams, I woke and had a cuppa and showered and then it was time to go out.

I went and saw my friends, my corner table was missing, so I ended up sitting on another table, but there was chocolate, so I started eating that, and realised I hadn't had breakfast, so I ate the biscuits with my coffee.

My friends came and made a fuss, they had a present for me, a 'smart' phone, I don't find it very smart, so I have put it in the norty corner and I grump crossly at it, but they meant well by giving it to me, however, simple people need stupid phones, not ones that are too smart for their own good.

Anyway, my friends made a fuss, and then they booted me cheerfully in the direction of the bus stop to get my business done in town, on condition I came back and went home for lunch with them.

So I went in town and did my business and returned and we went and had lunch.
My friend sometimes tries to give me a lot of things, so by the time we had had lunch and went round to their family, I had lots of new things.

It was nice to see their family, because they are lovely. We took one of the girls to her swimming lesson.
It reminded me a lot of things, that children are very vulnerable and trusting and it is good when they are safe, it is lovely when children have a good quality of life, and when I am joining in with things like watching the children swim, it reminds me of what quality of life is or was, and how the Diocese have forever invalidated me, and if they knew where I was, they would invalidate me here and ensure that I couldn't even have a glimpse of what quality of life is, wouldn't let me sit safely with my friends and watch the little one swim.

Anyway, after that, they dropped me of home with my new things and my groceries, and I did myself some rice and pudding for supper, I was going to add spam but I couldn't open the tin.
I felt very tired and very cold, which means I am not alright, so I tucked into bed, tried to warm up but couldn't even though the room was warm, so I had a hot shower and have just stayed in bed.