December 27th, morning

Good morning,
Well, I slept, but it was a tough, disturbed sleep, and in the last few hours I was trapped in a stupor with disturbing dreams, I know this is trauma, but it is awful, it wouldn't be so bad if I was outdoors.
I have to be careful because indoors, depression and flashbacks lurk, gotta keep an eye on it and make sure it doesn't get really bad.

Anyway, I got up, threw myself in the shower before I could wake up and protest, got all clean and dressed, picked up the room, cos rough sleepers always do their picking up in the morning.
Now here I am, watching 'The Parent Trap' cos it is fun.

I am trying to work out what my future is, I cannot return to my career as a gardener because my legs and spine are too bad now, and I do not know what I can do that does not involve standing still or having to interact a lot or do physical work, I am very limited, maybe if I work part time and earn enough for rent, food and therapy somehow? what can I do?