morning peeps,

 Not feeling too good here. I understand how depression is an illness when it gets like this, it really shuts you down. I am still having bad flashbacks which cause despair and which are linked to the depression.

Last night I went to my friends house and slept in the conservatory, I sometimes need company when I am like this, and being alone and trying to sleep in my porch with the hooligans making a nuisance of themselves nearby is hell, but I am sure that the depression and flashbacks are being triggered by the amount of time I am spending indoors, and it only gets worse, not better, a vicious circle.

My friend dropped me of in town and I have been at the 'cafe at the centre of the world' where the whole world either meets and chats or walks past.

The depression is very bad, it refuses to be sat on, and though I still get up in the morning and go through the motions, it is hard to do things like washing and eating.