Long ago a couple were homeless
while everyone else had a place to be
Out in the cold in a basic shelter
while others celebrated reunion
there in the cold unwanted
the most important thing in the world occured
in the inn was the joy of reunion
while out there was born the hope of reconciliation
Christmas started with homelessness and shame
and here I am, out in the cold
while everyone is looking forward to reunions
indoors in the inn, I am out in the stable
I am happy out in the stable with the Holy Family
what more do I need?
Do I need the feasting and the noise and laughter?
Do I need the 'place to be'?
Well, it would be nice, but more importantly
I need to be out here with the Saviour who died for me
At this time of year people avoid me,
because they think I want an invite home
They don't realise that I expect nothing
I am ok out here, I am not alone
At this time of year people maddeningly
try to send me to 'the pity lunch' on Christmas day
They don't realise that lunch with the other unwanted people
and then back out in the dark is not Christmas
It is just an affirmation that I am unloved
So I will stay out here peacefully with the Holy Family
In all their Christmas plans they forget the meaning
and so Jesus and I will stay out here in the cold
It is not so much the being unwanted
but more the way they think I expect to be wanted
It is more the way they avoid me
and try to send me to the pity lunch
as if that would ever in any way make up for being loved and belonging
in there in the Inn instead of out here in the dark
Hey, they say Jesus loves me
but His love doesn't show in the way the church destroyed me
Just as the pharisees tried to destroy Jesus and failed
Jesus knows what it is like to be homeless and poor
Jesus knows what it is like to be spat on and face contempt and trial
So Jesus, please stay out here with me in my anguish,
we can share a stable eh, and you can have my best sleeping bag
A survivor of Church abuse and cover ups goes on battling for her voice to be heard. A daily account of life after the Diocese of Winchester destroyed her and the slow and painful steps to rebuilding a life.
Introduction
This is a merge of my 'Wanderer' blog that tells of two years of my three years on the streets, and a new blog that tells of my life after the Diocese of Winchester ripped through my life for for the last few years on top of the previous serious harm that left me homeless
This is a day to day blog of my life as I continue to survive, work on recovery and on the social problems that I have and try to come to terms with limitless traumas I have survived along the way.
This blog is in tandem with my blog about my experiences in the Church of England http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/
The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.
The former name of this blog and the name of it's sister blog are to do with my sense of humour, which I hope to keep to the end, which appears to be ever more rapidly approaching. At least I laughed, and I laughed at the people who were destroying me. Don't forget that.
Here are my books, which I wrote for you if you would like to know more: http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JJNP
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