It's raining outside, the air is fresh and cold and it is beautiful in the dark with all the lights and all the shoppers, I am torn between being here and staying out there, I just went to get a hot drink from the market and I was tempted to stay out.

I feel so silly talking about the things I got wrong that let the diocese get me, and too ashamed and shocked to talk about the polcie matter, but I will in a minute. I am drafting it, I will tell you the bones today hopefully, then after Christmas I will add to the bones.

I just read a book called 'rape', it tells the story of another unbalanced system like the Island and church systems, a small town in America, the story tells of how a woman is gang-raped and beaten and her young daughter is beaten too, and because they have the wrong people in this place against them, it looks like there will be no justice. :( I know it isn't just me, the world is full of injustices, large and small, every day, but the world and human beings aren't all bad.