I have a chest infection, that is not good, I am supposed to run to the doctor and make a fuss because I am asthmatic, but I won't because I am breathing ok. my niece who wasn't breathing well had a cold and chest infection and she is recovering now.

I can't go on going indoors, it makes me hellishly depressed and ill, and leaves me in horrendous flashbacks to the cruel cold safeguarding offiical and the church and makes me want to die.

This morning started out mild and grey, now it is cold with something falling out of the sky. Tonight I will sleep in a conservatory and hope that that is better than being indoors, I gatecrashed the church tea and coffees and arranged to stay with the lady who invited me earlier in the week, she has invited me to supper with her neighbour and then to stay in the conservatory as that will be easier for me. Supper means I can avoid soup kitchen as it is always worse at the weekends.

I just went to the tea stall, one of the regulars was there and we gossiped and drank tea, he exchanged the fake pound I was given for a real one so I wouldn't miss out on my tea. Kind of him.

I am having a no church day, no point in making the bad memories worse.