Here I am again, I am waiting a bit to go to the bed and breakfast, the tea stall is now closed. Town is fairly busy and there are already drunk people louting about.

I feel a bit strange with no christmas preparations to do, I remember when Christmas used to be everything, the carol singing round the villages, the christmas shows and plays and parties and preparations, carol services, nativities and crib services and Christingles, excited shopping trips to get the goodies and presents for friends, sending cards, helping with Christmas fundraisers for charities etc, now it is just a question of where to go, how to survive the bank holidays.
Nevertheless, it is the first christmas free from the church, and despite the lurking bad memories it does feel ok.

I am not loved or wanted, but I am content, I am lucky to have what I have.

Happy Christmas!

It looks like I will be able to be online intermittently over Christmas.