English person reading my blog even in these holiday days, let me just say something in case you are from the Hometown Diocese. This blog was started as a kind of suicide note because I did not believe I could survive what the church and diocese did to me and I wanted my side to be heard, I maybe intended killing myself this Christmas, having shared my story and knowing that every Christmas hurts and I am alone. But the blog itself has changed things for me, and things have changed, the pain is shared and it is in the blog and less sitting in my head hurting me and unspoken, though it does still hurt and I still feel that the injustices and untruths and wounds are too bad to dwell on at all and I shut them out in order to go on living.