Fragmented thoughts

In case some aspect of my blog regarding G.P. puzzles you, I have 14 brothers and sisters, 7 of each, would you believe it? And guess what? I have 7 older and 7 younger than me, I am in the middle, so there are 15 of us, 8 girls and 7 boys.
when my youngest sister was born and miraculously survived 3 months premature, I wondered if she was a replacement for me, a mixture of my parents' doom and gloom prophecies and the fact that even age 15 or 16 I already felt like a failure with  no future, and living in the ghettos and not understanding the outside world didn't help.

I am friends with a cat on facebook, a cat that has it's own facebook, and actually I think that is ok, but that is because I am autistic and natter to any animal I meet, in London I was often woken by urban foxes slidinga round near me, one day one got too close, I think it smelt my food, but I woke up and leapt up growling, pure instinct, I think that fox was in Kent by the time he stopped running!

Here is some help:

http://www.thehopeofsurvivors.com/

http://www.snapnetwork.org/

If I can help one other human being heal from their pain before I lose my own life, then my life will not have been in vain.
Both these organisations will help English survivors and are trying to expand their work in England.

SNAP have problems with admin, so I was one of the few survivors to attend their recent London meeting where they were working to set up a UK based support group.

http://www.macsas.org.uk/

Sadly Macsas have rather messed up helping me and left me further hurt and damaged, but that is not to say they will do that to everyone.
One of their good features for anyone who is in real difficulties is the freephone helpline, though that is struggling with staffing issues and is usually closed.
Be warned, if you have been abused and access these websites for the first time and see the extent of the wrongs and read other survivors stories, you may well be overcome with emotion - distress, anger, realisation of what has really happened to you, not what the church have tried to tell you has happened etc, I have been.

If the church see this blog, I can imagine they will try to close it down, even though I am writing it in a way that does not overstep anything legal as far as I know, though I have been mistaken about that in the past.